I always think too much. Over-analyze things. No matter what, I always anticipate the outcomes of numerous situations and end up doing the stupidest thing anyway.
For example, I had a day off from school today. Wanna know what I did? Absolutely nothing. I wasted my whole day doing nothing instead of starting the English project on the book Grendel that I haven't even started even though it is due on Friday. And it's a big project. But nope, instead of work on that huge important project I read stories and sang off key (my voice was being weird all day so my singing sounded super bad today). I did nothing productive. I knew I should have worked on my project, but I didn't. Instead of working on it I am sitting here typing away at my computer even though it is 9:24 on a Tuesday night.
The biggest problem with my over-thinking is that sometimes I know what the best decision is and sometimes I don't. And even if I know which decision is best, I completely disregard it because I am lazy or scared.
I'm a lazy person who gets scared easily in social situations. That's why I spend all my time reading and writing and singing. They're all primarily independent activities.
Reading is bad for me, I think. Stories make me over-think even more than I already do.
I read a lot of romance stories, usually either romance drama or romance comedy. And I started typing this up five minutes ago because I was reading a story and thought about how I over-analyze everything and that is one of the reasons why I think I will never find happiness.
I am the kind of person who worries so much about what to do that nothing ever gets done. I'm so afraid of what could happen if I talk to people so I just don't socialize.
I'll never be happy if I keep doing this, but I don't know how to stop. It just happens and I try to think of good things, positive things, but all the negativity seeps into my thoughts and ruins them. I want to stop thinking so much, but I can't.
I wish I could, but I can't.
