I just realized that I almost became my mother.
My mother gave up everything to settle down with a man who was two years older than her. He was sweet and kind in the beginning, but then he turned sour. He became careless and mean and horrible. He was a bad person and he sucked the happiness right out of her.
Two years ago I dated a guy who was just like that. He was two years my senior and he was a social guy. Warm. A leader. When we first started dating he was so sweet and kind. Then after a few months he became mean. He would yell at me and get annoyed at the smallest things and he would flirt with other girls. And I did nothing about it because I felt like he was all I had since I was in a dark place where all my friends were fading.
I dealt with his shit, just like my mother dealt with my father's.
I was with that boy for a year.
If I hadn't grown the courage to break up with him when I did I could have become my mother. The boy kept talking about us being together for a long time nad that we would do this or that or whatever 2 4 6 months from then.
If I hadn't broken down crying and refused him that day, I could have become my mother.
I probably would have.
And I never want to be my mother.
