I randomly started feeling insanely shitty. I was just scrolling through facebook and messaging someone and then she said something and I saw some posts from her and suddenly I broke. It's not like I'm not happy for her, because she's gotten some of her dreams, it's just that I'm stuck in limbo and slowly slipping back downhill.
In march I went to a hospital and stayed there for six days. It was no help, literally we most of our time in our rooms, eating in the lunch room, or sitting in the day room watching television or playing with cards.
Up until last month I was in an out-patient program to try to teach me coping skilss and such, but that didn't help too much either. Luckily I got a good friend out of it, though. Anyway, i stopped a few weeks ago nad now I have no way to occupy my time.
I finished up school, but it was a huge hassle. I was out of school for two weeks and it launched me far behind on my work. In the end I barely passed most of my classes. I made it, though. I graduated. But it drove me insane. I could barely stand being in that place. It's like my anxiety had sudenly been launched into overdrive and I just couldn't.
Now I'm hopefully starting college next month but I'm scared to death of the future and the fact that I may not have one.
