Chapter 1

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Emma's POV

It's been a week since Luke's been gone, It's been a week since I've actually ate something, it's been a week since I slept good it's been a week of Hell I miss him so much I can't live with out him I'm so used to him being there for me instead of the other way around, I love the way he would hold me and tell me it was okay I miss that, I've became even more shy then I was I still talk to Connor but he knows what I'm going though But Caitlin went on tour with them I haven't talked to her in a week, I was snapped out of my thoughts.

"Emma are you gonna eat?" Connor said

"Nope" I said as I heard the bell ring I grabbed my tray and threw it away I walked out to class.

I got off the bus I walked up to my house, I opened the door I seen mom, John who I'm not on talking terms with. I walked upstairs I walked in my closet I sat in the floor cause no one can hear me cry, I started crying, I grabbed a pencil sharpener I slammed it as hard as I can on the wall and broke it, I watched as the blade fall out I picked it up, I spent a few minutes looking at it moving it around in my hands then I heard knock at my door I put the blade in a shoe box and walked out of my closet I opened the door to my mother I sat on my bed playing with my blanket laying on my bed.

"Honey are you Okay?" She said

".....No I'm not" I said holding back tears

" I know it hurts I know you loved him " she said hugging me

"Why would he get back with me then break up with me again" I said holding her crying.

" I don't know why " she said we both pulled away from the hug I wiped my tears

" He Knows how much I love him why would he leave me " I said crying

"Have you talked to him " she asked

"Nope " I said

"I'm so so sorry honey but your gonna get though this I promise " she said as she got up

"Thanks mom " I said

"I'm gonna go make Lunch you want anything" she asked

"No " I said as I watched her sigh and walk out of my room closing the door I got up I walked to my closet but my phone started buzzing from a text.

I grabbed my phone, unlocked it I opened the message it's from Josh (a/n yes Josh Dun don't kill me😌)

"Hey Emma are you okay?" He texted

"Not really" I replied back, the night Luke and I broke up I called Josh and we stayed on the phone for hours talking about the shit storm that is happening

"I'll be over right around 6 ish I'm in the studio " he replied

I smiled "sure ".

I sat my phone down on the charger I walked to my closet I grabbed the small shoe box I opened it I grabbed the blade I looked at my arm then back at the blade then back at my arm, I ran the cold blade across my skin I winced in a small amount of pain I watched as the blood ran down.

1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 cuts

I sat and watched as blood covered my arm I threw the blade back in the box I got out if the floor ran to my bathroom I got near the tub and turned the on the cold water I stuck my arm under there I screamed cause it's burning I grabbed a wash rag cleaned up the cuts I turned off the water I grabbed some band aids some gauze and a wrap I placed the band aids the deep cuts then gauze on the deep cuts, wrapped it I looked down at my white tee shirt it's covered in blood I took it off I walked into my closet I grabbed a long sleeve shirt I put it on I changed my jeans I put in some joggers I looked at the time it's almost 4:00 pm I got a text from Josh saying "got out of the studio early coming over" I sent "ok", I sat on the bed waiting for Josh

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