Tomorrow, still Today| (Kim Taehyung)

Neverland

-"Sing, sweetie, sing."-

"Jungkook-ah..."

Again.

Darkness.

Am I standing? Am I running?

I'm lying on the floor. There's nothing.

"Jungkook-ah... it hurts..."

It hurts so bad. Take my pain away. In the pit of my stomach. It's there. It's all over my body.

It's in my mind.

I want to die.

This time, the darkness doesn't light up. This time, Jungkook doesn't show up.

But still, I can see.

I whimper and press my hands to my ears, my eyes, my mouth. I don't want to see. Please don't. But the images are there.

Like always.

Burned into my mind, never begging for release. They'll never be released.

Please go away.

I scream. I don't know if my mouth is wide open, if it's closed. I don't know if someone hears me.

I can't hear.

But I can hear everything.

"Jungkook-ah... please help me..."

"You need to forgive yourself, Tae." There's his voice. His sweet, melodic voice. I ask myself, if it would still sound like that, if he was alive.

"Forgive yourself, Tae."

How? How can I do that? I killed the one thing I loved. The one thing I cared for.

I still feel the blood on my fingers. The hands of a murderer.

"Murderer. He killed his own brother."

"He killed his brother?"

"Why?"

Why did I kill him?

"He's insane."

"He's crazy."

"Don't listen to him."

"He's a liar."

"He's a liar."

"He's lying."

STOP!

I taste blood on my lips as I feel everything bursting. My mind bursting open as I beg and beg to stop it.

I can't take anymore.

I understand.

"You need to forgive yourself, Tae."

"HOW Jungkook? HOW can I do that? I killed you!"

Stop, please stop. My hands are ripping on my hair as I feel like I'm burning. Am I burning?

No, I'm drowning.

I'm floating through green water, almost calm.

Not with me.

I struggle.

Not yet. I fear being alive, but not yet. I need an answer. I gasp for air, it's suddenly there.

"How, Jungkook-ah..."

"Find the thruth."

Again, this answer. The voices in my head screaming at me. The truth is, I'm a liar, a hypocrite. I killed Jungkook. I accepted that.

"I know the truth."

"You don't, Tae."

Silence.

"You need to get back there. The day you entered the police station."

White. The walls are white. My blood glowing, destroying the atmosphere. I scream, the pain.

"No, Jungkook..."

"What did you feel back then? What did you feel, Tae?"

Pain.

I scream again, almost suffocating on the water.

Pain.

Confusion.

No guilt.

"See?", Jungkook's voice asks me and I can hear his smile. He's cheering.

"Tae! You're almost there! Just a little bit more, okay, hyung?"

Then I drown again, almost getting dragged away. I can't reach the surface. The voices are pulling me down.

Liar, liar, liar, they're singing.

I get mad. I feel pain.

"You're lying!", I scream, only water escaping my mouth.

"You're almost there, Tae! Almost!", Jungkook's excited voice. Like it's a riddle.

A mistery.

We love mysteries.

Not this one.

"You're a liar, Jungkook!"

My arms and legs start kicking through the water, almost too heavy and I scream, no sound escaping.

"Liar! Jungkook, stop lying!"

But there it is again. The cheery voice, so excited.

"You're so close, Tae! Hyung, you're so close to the truth! Just don't stop thinking."

The water becomes black.

I feel like flying.

"You just have to go all the way back."