Tomorrow, still Today| (Kim Taehyung)

Figure Me Out

-"Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy."-

Waking up, I feel a little calmer. I remember what happened yesterday, Taehyung hugging me and feel my heart fluttering.

I hate myself for it. I really do.

I'm scared.

And I hate to admit it, but my heart leaps every time I think of him in front of me, his soft hand in mine, his tear-stained cheeks under my fingertips, his dark hair, when I brush it out of his forehead. His warm body against mine. His arms around me.

His eyes, that stare into mine.

His look, that's like a lesson to me. A mystery.

Figure me out.

I will.

But right now, I have to step back.

Right now, I have to distance myself, a little.

This got too personal. I remember my teacher's words. The illusion of love, but not loving. That's our mantra.

No loving.

-----------------

The day is colder. It's still April.

As I step out of my car, I'm a little startled at the heavy wind, that messes my hair up. My gaze shifts up to the sky and I rub my cold fingers, when it's there, white and grey.

Promising snow.

And I don't know whether I should laugh or cry, when the first snowflakes fall.

Sometimes it snows in April...

I stare for a few seconds, then entering the hospital, suddenly not feeling too well. The whole day is kind of off and I can't put a name to the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Am I nervous?

Maybe... I'm nervous to see Kim Taehyung today.

I scold myself internally, as I hang up my jacket on the stand in the entrance. My hair is a little messed up and it looks even brighter today. The day is so grey.

I greet Namjoon as he walks past me but he seems busy so he doesn't stop in his tracks. I roll my eyes after Seungkwan gives me a wink from the desk.

Running up the stairs, I avoid stepping into Mr. Im's sight, as I haven't quite figured out my plan yet.

Gladly, he doesn't see me and I slip through the hallway, directing my steps to the heavy door at the end of it.

I breathe in slightly before pushing the door open.

And then I stop.

Widening my eyes, I feel my blood freeze in my veins for a second.

But only for a second.

My feet drag me to him. Slowly. My eyes not leaving him.

His knees to his chest, his hands pressed to his face, his body damp from sweat and a shivering and sobbing mess.

"...Taehyung...", I hesitantly whisper and he flinches heavily.

My eyes widen even more and I cower down in front of him, slightly, slowly.

His sobs are muffled and I notice the blood on his fingers. His arms have scratch marks on them and I gasp.

I told him not to cry, if I wasn't here.