Tomorrow, still Today| (Kim Taehyung)

Nocturnal Skies (Part 1)

-"... If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied..."- Part 1

There's warmth tonight.

I can breathe. It just feels so right to be back. And I have pushed the simple thought of Taehyung, making me stumble at every mean, I pushed it back the last month to simply try and focus on those last days.

And I know, I'm so close to breaking, so close to shatter to the floor, a thousand pieces, like a mirror.

But as soon as I set my foot into the hospital, after one month that felt like an eternity, I felt my heart beating again as I walked up the familiar stairs, the place I have grown so attached too.

The person I have grown so attached too.

I had hesitated opening the door, even more hesitated stepping in, but I did it anyways, my whole self dragging me to the person leaning onto the window frame.

Just his back and his dark hair, still staring in front of him.

I wondered, what he was seeing.

But I stepped closer and he finally, finally turned around and I felt myself tear up and my heart beating way to fast for my liking.

Cause there he was.

Pale, darker circles under his eyes, his lips chapped and his eyes glowing from tiredness, then surprise.

And he was as beautiful as ever, as pure as I know him.

And when I just stood there and felt him moving closer, my eyes wouldn't leave his, heart leaping at the look he's giving me. It's the same look I share. And we both understand each other in our eyes. He's opening.

And as his hand meets mine, after such a long time and his other hand caressed the back of my head, I started crying.

When his soft lips met mine, moulding around them and leaving them bright red, my breath got caught in my throat, and I asked myself, over and over again.

Just asked myself.

Why didn't I realize earlier, that I'm in love with Kim Taehyung?

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There's silence tonight and I wake up, almost feeling at home in my small apartement. I breathe in deeply, not finding rest anymore at 3 am.

There's too much running around in my head, making me sigh internally as I finally swing my legs over the edge, not wanting to overthink anymore.

I tend to do that a lot these days.

I walk to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee, knowing that I won't fall asleep anyways anymore.

I sip the dark liquid, cringing at the taste. It's still too bitter for me, I can't seem to enjoy it thoroughly. What I enjoy is the warmth it offers me, running down my body in a wave everytime I take a sip.

After I'm done I leave to the bathroom and brush my hair, my teeth and get dressed.

As I pack my backpack, I hesitate before putting a blanket into it, frowning as I shake my head before swinging it over my shoulders.

I decide to leave already, maybe being able to catch a little up at the hospital, getting some work done.

I don't know anymore what to think, honestly. Being back, I realize what I could have missed in this past month. Being back, I allow myself to think of this situation again, slowly realizing, that it's time.

Time for letting Taehyung find out that he's innocent, time to talk to Dr. Im.

Time for probably getting fired as what I'm doing is pretty illegal and constricted by the doctor.

But I have to do it.

I shut the car door close behind me and make my way up to the hospital. It's dark night and as I expected, it is pretty cold too.

The light in the entrance lights up as I push the door open. As expected, there's noone here. I walk past all the rooms, wondering to myself if they all have to go through the same pain as Taehyung.

It's half past 3 am in the night and I'm asking myself, what am I doing here.

As I pass the corner, I flinch badly.

"Namjoon?! What are you doing here?"

I immediately cover my mouth at my tone and he looks at me, a little surprised before speaking.

"Sana! You're back!" He smiles brightly and I try my best to smile back at him.

"Thank god", he adds and I furrow my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?", I ask and his gaze avoids mine. He purses his lips slightly.

"It's just... Taehyung...", he begins and my eyebrows furrow more. "He hasn't been doing well lately. Also he had psychiatric treatment by Dr. Im which can't possibly mean anything good", he adds and I know what he's trying to say.

It's been ghosting around in my head forever now. Ever since I left I tried to push it back. But it's inevitable.

"Namjoon... let's do it today."

He freezes a little, looking at me with big eyes and I need a little time to focus on them as it's dark around us. I nod at him and show him the determination in my look.

He hesitates and I understand.

Oh god, I understand him so well. How long did I hesitate. But it's so necessary and we both need to understand that.

Taehyung can't be hurt a minute more.

"Fine", Namjoon says after a while and I smile lightly at him. It's difficult to get my smile back but I try. It will take even more work to put it on Taehyung's face after all that happened and after all that will happen.

"Let's do it", he says calmly and then suddenly grabbing my arm and pulling him with me. The gaze in his eyes is haunting and I can't look away.

"Now", he adds and I swallow harshly.

I'm sorry, Taehyung. This will hurt a lot.