Away in wanderlust

Chapter 7: He doesn't need me.

(Sorry if there's bad spelling or bad english, this has not been edited)

Chapter 7: He doesn't need me.

Madeline's P.O.V.

"Goodbye"

When I said that, I felt a terrible pain in my chest, I felt like my whole world was crashing down.

I just left him there without saying anything else, and I just started running, and running, and running.

Once I thought I was far enough, I looked around to see if anyone was near. When I made sure I was all alone, I broke.

I was trying so hard to hold back my tears, but once I started crying, I couldn't stop, the tears just kept falling down my face and they wouldn't stop.

I knew that this was coming, I knew that I was going to lose him, I knew that I was going to hurt him, but I didn't know that it would hurt so much to say goodbye.

I just stood there socking wet from the rain, crying, and crying, and crying, thinking about what I had lost and about what I had just saved.

I didn't want anyone to see me like this, so I thought it would be best if I just kept running, so I did.

I kept running, and running, and running, and running, not knowing where I was going or what I was running from.

Once I stopped again and check if anyone was around, I wiped the tears mixed with rain from my face, not that it matter because it was still raining.

I did some thinking, I thought about what I said to him, pointed out what I did wrong, though about how it should of had gone, I thought about the probabilities of our friendship lasting any longer than this and they were pretty low.

There was no going back, no taking back my words, my mistakes, my tears.

I regret it all.

I hurt him, I left him alone, I broke our promise.

Yeah I knew this was going to happen eventually but I thought I was prepared, I thought that it wouldn't matter once we cut our ties.

But it wasn't like that, it hurts and it hurts because it did matter.

He was my only friend, the only one who ever cared, the one who pulled me out of the darkness, and I worked so hard to keep him a secret.

I didn't want anyone to find out, so he wouldn't get hurt, so that we could stay together forever like we had planned since the beginning.

To be quite frank, I actually believed that it was actually possible for us to stay like that forever, without anyone knowing anything about it, just our little secret like always.

But it wouldn't have been possible, even if we still could be friends now, in two years or less, everything would of have been over and he would be too broken and hurt by so many people and experiences.

He wouldn't trust anyone else ever again, he would never be happy, he wouldn't see the light in the world but the darkness, and I would never see that precious smile of his I love so much, not a fake smile, but the smile only I can see.

While I was deep in thought, I didn't notice that I subconsciously walked to the place Al and I first met.

The park.

It was abandoned some years ago so we made it the place we will tell eachother our secrets because nobody was ever around.

I remember everything that happened that day, the day we first met, like it was yesterday. I remember what I was wearing, what he was wearing, why I was here and why he was here. I remember exactly what we said when we first spoke to each other and why we said it. I still can't believe it's been 9 years.

I looked around a bit and started walking towards the playground at a slow pace. It wasn't raining anymore but you could still hear the drops of water that fell from some of the trees.

Once I was close enough to see the playground, I noticed something, or rather someone.

Al was sitting on the swings that we came to every time we met at night, the ones where we would forget about everything and just enjoy the breeze, the sky, the stars, the moon, and each other's company, the place where we tell each other everything.

There he sat, soaking wet, with his head down, all broken, and I was all my fault.

I looked at him and told myself 'This is for the best. He is better of with out me. I can't protect him forever. He doesn't need me. He's going to meet someone better, someone who he will need and won't be able to live without, and he is going to forget he ever met me'

I told myself that, but the more I just looked at his broken expression and the tears on his face, the more I just wanted to run over to him and hug him and make everything ok again, but I knew I couldn't do that.

'I'm not the one who has to save him, someone will, but that someone won't be me, he doesn't need me anymore'

I kept thinking that, and I knew it was true, but that didn't mean I will be ok, because I won't be ok with this, ever. He might not need me, but I still need him.

I stopped everything for a minute and just stared at him, sounds creepy but I was actually just trying to see if my eyes were playing tricks on me.

He was saying something, I couldn't hear from the distance between me and him, but I was trying to read his lips, which was extremely hard because I could barely see his lips moving. I watched him as he stand up and walked away.

I didn't catch exactly what he said, I could only read some of the words he said, but I still had a pretty good idea of what he meant, and honestly I didn't like it.

He was giving up.

It didn't quite surprised me, because it was kind of my fault, I made him lose hope, I broke our promise, and I said goodbye.

"It's not over Al"

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(A/N)

Hello my precious readers,
I am so greatful to all of you who are reading this book, and I really hope you like it. I was wondering what you thought about it so far, if you liked it or what you think about the characters, any theories?
Well I just want to know what you think so please comment and vote.
Also if you haven't noticed yet I'm going to update every Sunday (or at least try) so I guess see you next week. Again thanks for reading and have a great day.
Bye.