Subway Train ➫ Frerard

chpt. fifteen ➫ memories

for two more hours, frank decided to comply with gerard and go to the stores he wanted. they bought shoes, suits, and other things gerard thought would be necessary for frank. 

they exited the mall after buying everything, and hailed another taxi yet again. the ride was shorter than the last because there no longer was traffic.

the two walked into their apartment building and went through the same routine they always do. once they got in, frank plopped himself on the couch, face-down. 

"frankie?" gerard called, seeing as his boyfriend looked sad. "are you okay?"

frank turned his head to look at gerard. he had a depressed look displayed on his face. "no."

"what's wrong?" gerard sat next to frank. "you can tell me."

"i just remembered a lot." frank said, moving himself forward, placing his head on gerard's lap. "like a lot."

"like what?"

frank coughed. "i remembered everything. my home, my friends, my family. i remembered my past. i remember how i became homeless. i remember who i left... and who left me."

"care to tell me about it?" gerard asked, running his hands through frank's short hair.

"my mom.. and my dad decided to disown me after i came out as bisexual. they never wanted to see me ever again." frank felt the tears begin to form in his eyes. he let them stream. "i remember exactly what my high school friends said to me, too. they said, 'you're weak and stupid.'" 

their voices reverberated through frank's head, like an annoying bell ringing. you're weak and stupid, an idiot in the eyes of everyone else. hope you die soon. rot in hell. 

"aah!" frank screamed, which startled gerard. frank hid his face behind his hands and cried on gerard's lap. "i hate myself."

"frank, don't say that." gerard replied, followed by a kiss on frank's head. "your life's great. at least you're still alive."

frank sniffled. gerard was right. his life is great now, and he is still alive. he just wished he wasn't like this. "i just... i let down everyone. they said they don't want to see me anymore. i used to live in new jersey... but i ended up here one day."

gerard cocked his head to the side. "how did you end up here?"

frank sat up. "at nineteen, i bought a bus ticket and it stopped in journal square. i bought a train ticket as well, and i used to ride the subways back and forth for no reason. i ran out of money eventually and lived underground for a year until i finally got enough money to buy another train ticket and... that's when i met you."

"oh." gerard said. 

frank nodded. "my life changed for the better when i met you. i felt happier."

"cute." gerard responded.

"i know you are." frank chuckled. gerard smiled at frank as he wiped away the remaining tears on his face.

"you know i love you, right?" gerard said.

"yes. and i love you, too." frank grabbed gerard and embraced him in a long hug. he was happy that he had met gerard, and happy that he could create new memories with him.