Lucia's POV
Today is our last day in Hawaii, and I'm just going to stay in my room all day.
I lay on the crusty bed and read mystery books online like I always do. I don't want to hang out with my family.
Why would I want to be around people who make me feel bad about myself?
---
It's already evening. No one has yet to even check on me or call me.
I don't like my family at all, but it'd feel nice to have them care about me.
I haven't ate this whole day, so I put on my shoes and head to the café in the lobby.
As I take a seat in the café, I notice my family along with Rick and Summer's friends sitting across the room.
They're all laughing and enjoying each other's company.
Of course they are, it's because I'm not there.
I order a chicken salad with steamed vegetables.
---
I eat my food once it arrives and think about life.
How easy it would be if I just gave up.
There is nothing sadder than a person who has barely seen the world, yet has seen enough of it to know that they do not wish to be apart of it.
I'm into my thoughts when all of a sudden I hear people screaming.
I look over and see a guy with a gun.
He shoots the gun up in the air to get everyone's attention.
"EVERYONE, SHUT THE FUCK UP" he screams.
The room becomes silent. He begins scanning the room. Everyone's eyes are following his every step. He makes eye contact with me and walks my way.
"Do you want to die today motherfucker?!" He points the gun at me.
My family recognizes me, but they don't say anything.
Ethan focuses his eyes my way and recognizes that I'm the one who has the gun pointed at them.
"Kinda, yeah" I say without hesitation.
"Shit fam, you alright?" He lowers the gun.
"What are you doing? Kill me already!" I demand.
I will never have the courage to kill myself, so I wouldn't pass this opportunity.
"No, you will continue to live. Every life is precious" the man speaks.
"Then how are you going to walk around with a gun and threaten to kill people" I say frustrated.
"I refuse to be someone's ticket to death" he takes a seat next to me.
"To be honest, I'm only robbing this place so I can pay for my sisters therapy sessions. She's depressed, and I know she needs help" the man takes off his ski mask.
"I'm sorry to hear about your sister" I reply.
"You take care of yourself. Don't you dare give up on life" he gets up and leaves.
Funny how a stranger showed concern for me, someone he doesn't even know. My own family didn't even try to save me when he threatened to kill me.
This just proves my point that my family doesn't love me. They don't care about me. They never did, and they never will.
If I were to die the stars would still appear, the sun will still come out, the Earth will still rotate, the seasons will still change.
So why not die?
I can see it, how everyone will be more happy when I'm gone.
"Lucia!" Ethan yells, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Why would you encourage him to shoot you for!?" He hugs me.
I don't say anything.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
Why does he care for?
"I'm not okay but that's not what you want to hear. That's not what anyone wants to hear. So for now I'll just that I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm fine" I whisper.
I turn around and walk back to my room with Ethan walking behind me.
"What do you want Ethan" I say annoyed because he's following me.
"I don't want to leave you by yourself" he answers.
Why would he not want to leave me by myself?
Oh hell no.
"You think I might kill myself huh?" I cross my arms.
He doesn't say anything.
"Ethan, I'm not suicidal. Being suicidal doesn't mean that I'm going to kill myself. Being suicidal is having this unexplainable ache while you're living. It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing that you didn't have to carry on. Having this ache and incapacity to feel happy living doesn't mean that I'm going to kill myself. It just means that I wouldn't mind dying" I say.
"Being suicidal doesn't necessarily mean you're holding a gun to your head. Sometimes, it means smoking a cigarette in hopes that you'll get cancer and die. Or Jay walking across the street because you don't care if you get hit by a car. Sometimes it means having sex with a stranger, and hope that you'll get an STD and die. Or not sleeping and eating in hopes that the exhaustion will kill you. Or not even washing your hands and hope that you'll get sick and die. Sometimes it means being cruel to the people you love or ignoring them because if they leave you'll have less reason to go on living. Or not setting your alarm for work, so you'll get fired and have less of a purpose. Sometimes it means partying hard in the hopes that your liver will fail, and you'll die. Or putting yourself in dangerous and potentially painful situations, so maybe it'll be the last straw. Being suicidal doesn't necessarily mean trying to die. A lot of times, it means not putting any effort into living" I add.
"Is this why you smoke? Is this why you didn't wear your seat belt on the way to the museum? Is this why you didn't look both ways before crossing the street? Is this why you begged that man to shoot you? Is this why you were mad when I saved you?" He questions angrily.
"You deserve to love life Lucia. I don't want you to feel like living life is a chore. Life is meant to be loved because life is something that everyone should cherish" he smiles at me.
I feel a tear come down my cheek.
"I want to teach you how to love life again" he wipes away my tear.
Author's Note:
I will be attending a funeral for the next 4 days, so I won't be able to update for a while. I'm sorry. I will be back soon ❤
Don't be a 👻 reader! Vote, comment, follow, anything if you want to.
But please keep reading!
I Love You❤
Until next time my loves 💋
♡♡♡
