Lucia's POV
"I don't think that's possible" I mumble.
"Yes it is. I can help you" he smiles.
"No. No you can't" I say sternly.
"I can help you Lucia" he takes a step closer.
"Stop saying that you can help me. You don't even know me. You know my name and that I'm sad. You don't know what gave me urges. You don't know the self-loathing I preserve. You don't know me" I practically yell at his face.
He looks at me with shock.
"Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've cried in my room when nobody was watching. Nobody knows how many times I've lost hope. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head when I'm sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody knows me" I whisper.
"You are right. I don't know you, but I care about you deeply " he says sincerely.
"Let me get to know you. The real you" he looks me in the eye.
I look at him with hesitation.
Why does he want to get to know me for? Why is he trying so hard? Is it because he "likes" me?
Bullshit.
I don't care if he told me he "likes" me. No one cares or loves me. No one ever will.
"Please" he pleas.
"I don't know" I reply.
"I'm not a horrible person, Lucia. You can trust me" he says reassuringly.
"Fine. Whatever" I roll my eyes.
"What have you done so far in Hawaii? We're leaving this evening" Ethan asks.
"Stay in my room. I went to the ocean once but that's it" I shrug my shoulders.
"Well, what do you want to do before we go back home" he asks.
"I'm just going to lay in bed. I'm actually tired. I'll see you later" I turn around and walk away.
"I'm tired too. Can I lay down with you?" He follows me.
"Uhh, I don't know. The bed is a twin size" I say with hopes that he'll leave.
"That's fine. We'll fit" he continues to follow me.
---
I unlock the door and let Ethan go in first. I take off my shoes and immediately jump on the bed.
Ethan is still standing.
I lay on my side and give Ethan some space to lay down too.
Our backs are facing each other and the room is silent. I hear Ethan shifting around.
I no longer feel his back against mine, but his stomach. I turn around as well, and we face each other.
"I thought you said you were tired" Ethan says confused.
"It's a different kind of tired" I sigh.
"Explain" he simply states.
"I can't make you understand. I can't make anyone understand what is happening inside my mind. I can't even explain it to myself" I answer.
He nods and puts one of his arms around me and rubs my back.
"I hate feeling like this all the time Ethan" I whisper with a tear rolling down my cheek.
"Breathe. You're going to be okay. The pain you feel is going to pass. Maybe not in this moment, today or tomorrow, but sometime soon. The hurt will fade. Don't give up before things get better. You may be wounded, but you aren't broken. You can and will heal" he reassures me.
He pulls me into his chest, and I hear his slow and steady heart beat. The sound of his heart beat calms me, and I feel myself being able to finally rest for the first time in forever
---
I hear someone's phone go off. I open my eyes and realize that Ethan is still here. I get off his chest and examine my surroundings.
How'd we fit on this tiny bed?
I lightly shake Ethan to wake him up.
"Hey, someone's calling you" I whisper.
He grabs his phone and answers it. He's talking to Rick.
"Yeah man, I'll be down" he hangs up.
"Our flight is in an hour. Your brother was looking for me" Ethan stands up.
"You should go gather your things. I'll meet you guys in the lobby" I continue to pack my suitcase.
"I'll see you later" he leans in for a hug, but I take a step back.
I don't do affection. My parents never gave me love or affection as a kid. I don't remember the last time I gave them a hug or kiss on the cheek. I don't even remember the last time we've said "I love you" to each other.
So Ethan trying to hug me is foreign.
"Sorry, I'm a hugger" he chuckles.
He proceeds to hug me. He wraps both of his arms around my body, and I do the same.
This feels weird, yet so comforting.
We pull away, and I didn't even realize that I'm crying.
Of course I'm crying.
"What's wrong?" He asks concern.
"It's nothing" I laugh.
"It's something if you're crying" he speaks softly.
"It's just. I don't remember the last time someone has given me a hug" I feel a few more tears escape.
"Well you don't need to worry about that. I'll always be here to hug you" he hugs me again.
"You give the best hugs" I hug him again.
"Okay, enough hugging. Go get your things so we can go home" I smile.
"Wow, is that a smile on your face? You should smile more often. It's beautiful" he compliments me before leaving.
Did I smile?
I haven't smiled involuntary in forever.
---
Everyone meets up in the lobby of the hotel. I see Ethan, and he gives me a hug.
I can get use to his hugs.
"Everyone grab their tickets from me and see where you're sitting" my mom holds up the tickets in her hands.
I grab mine and look at where I'm sitting.
"I'm seat 6b" I say out loud.
"Awe, I'm seat 10d" Ethan fake cries.
I couldn't help but smile at him.
An actual smile.
Author's Note:
I'm so exhausted, but I updated! Hope you enjoyed 😊
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Until next time my loves 💋
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