Guilt (A Zero Spin-Off)

FortyFive - Ella

"Okay," Hunter said. "You understand how this works right?"

I nodded. "Pull the pin and throw."

"Duck. You find something stable to duck behind. These things have a kill radius of 5 meters. Fragments will fly a helluva lot further than that. The effective casualty radius is 15 meters."

"The whole lab is that big," I said feeling less and less sure.

"That's why you damn well better chuck and duck. It'll probably fuck you up... the explosion concussion, the noise... It's a last resort. Understand?"

I nodded wondering why I needed a whole belt full - five, I had five - of grenades attached to me if they were a last resort. It didn't feel like a last resort, it felt like a suicide mission.

"Right. "I nodded again for good measure. "What—" The door opening cut me off. Kyle and I froze for an instant. My eyes flitted from him to the pile of weapons on both our persons and the bed and then to door.

We were fucked.

I cross my arms over my hips as that might help and the person, no, people pushed through the door.

"Joel," I said on a sigh, more relieved than I've ever been.

"Hey," he said smiling at first and then took in the room and his expression changed.

"Ella." My eyes pulled from Joel to Kyle. "God. You're alive."

"Of course I'm alive," I said but before I could go on he'd crossed the room to me and pulled me into his arm. His hands cupped my face and then his lips were on mine. Startled by both his appearance and the action, I took a minute to catch up to the way his lips moved, desperately against mine. And then I was in. All in. Had I thought I could say goodbye to him? I had thought I could survive not seeing him again. This moment seemed to prove otherwise because I melted in his arms, feeling right for the first time since we'd pushed each other away. The taste of sweat and blood and the grittiness of dirt on his lips had me pulling away. He didn't seem to mind, immediately pushing me back far enough to look at me, checking for any wounds. He paused.

"Why are you dressed like a suicide bomber?" He asked.

"Why are you even here?" I asked, confused and then I took him in like he had me. "What the hell happened to you? Are you—" I caught sight of blood trailing down his leg. "What the hell happened Kyle?" I couldn't stop the panic from my voice.

He cupped my face again, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm okay, baby." He exhaled raggedly, his breath hitting my face. "God, I thought you were dead. I've never been so scared."

"Kyle," I said. "You're not okay." But he was just grinning at me. I grabbed onto his arms and physically moved him, brushing aside the pile of weapons on the bed so that he could sit down. "What happened?" I asked Joel. I paused, looking around the room. I notice Jamie and Bambi. My stomach sank. They shouldn't be here. "Where's Miles?"

No one met my eyes. I looked around the room again. Joel kept his gaze to the floor. Bambi had her face burring into Hunter's side, holding on to him for dear life. Jamie was staring into space. Kyle, at his lap. I looked at Hunter and I saw that he knew it was bad.

I sank down on the bed next to Kyle.

"Where's Miles?" I asked again. Tears beginning to fill my eyes.

Kyle reached over and grabbed my hand. When his eyes met mine, they were watery. He blinked, trying to clear the tears, but one slipped down his cheek. "We were attacked," he said hoarsely.

I wanted to cry. Miles was, in all honesty, my first friend since the outbreak. He was kind to me and impossible to stay angry with. And even in just a couple weeks, I loved him. He was my friend. But he was Kyle's family. He was Kyle's brother. I sucked back the pity I wanted to feel for myself at the loss of a friend and instead wrapped my arms around Kyle. It was a little awkward, how I held him, both his arms trapped in my grasp, but he quickly adjusted and pulled his arms free, pulling me closer.

"I am so sorry," I said to him.

Bambi was now up in Hunter's arms, whispering to him about Squirrel. I saw his expression change and knew she was gone to. Knew that they were all gone.

Kyle untangled our limbs and stood, favoring one leg and obviously in pain.

"I'm sorry I failed you, brother," he said quietly to Hunter. "It was an ambush."

Hunter shook his head, understanding, and forgave Hunter for not being able to save Squirrel and Claire. Joel informed us quickly of exactly how it went down, though I'm sure he left some of the worst of it out.

"She told us y'all were dead." He smiled a little. "I didn't believe that shit, but Kyle did. Anyway, we were coming get the girls settled into beds and then find you and then the clinic... but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen..." he said slowly, waiting for an explanation.

"We can't stay here," I said and quickly filled them in.

I'm not even sure Kyle was hearing anything I said. When he sat back down, he'd scooted back against the wall and I'd helped him get a pillow under his knee to elevate it some. Whatever had kept him going - despite blood loss, pain, and fatigue - long enough to get him into this room had quickly run out. And though every few seconds his eyes would flutter open, like he was fighting sleep, he was in no place to really catch the information.

"Shit," Joel ran his fingers through his hair and hung his head. "So you're about to Hulk out on your doctor friend to get Zero and then what? Shoot your way out?"

I nodded. "That would be the plan."

"Well," he said. "It's a bit shot to hell now."

Yeah... None of them were ready to run again, not tonight. I looked at Hunter. His expression was a hard line and I knew it was really costing him not to say we're doing this anyway. He looked at Bambi, she'd lost so much tonight and walked so far. Further than she should have after being up all day. After watching her friend die in front of her. She couldn't go on. But she also didn't need to lose anyone else.

"How much time do you think Zero has?" Hunter asked.

"Before she wants to inject her?" He nodded. "We have at least the day. She won't inject Zero with anything until she's observed under a microscope how her blood reacts. She'll want to watch it for a while, do multiple viewings."

"Twenty-four hours," Joel said, discouraged.

"I can get bandages, antibiotics, and pain killers from the clinic. I might be able to swing crutches," I said looking at Kyle who had at some point in the last couple minutes fallen completely asleep. "I'll go as soon as the sun is up. I'll bring them back here, but I'm going to have to head to labs to help out."

"Then it's a plan," Hunter said. "We try this again tomorrow night."

Hunter set Bambi in the other bed and Jamie climbed in with the younger girl.

"Get some sleep," he said to me. "Tomorrow's going to be a long day for you."

He and Joel both found positions that they were relatively comfortable in on the floor and I gentle nudged Kyle awake. His eyes cracked open and I whispered, "Lay down with me." Sleepily he nodded, and I helped him shift to his back. He laid an arm out across the bed and I curled into him, using his chest a pillow.

"Don't go trying to die on me," I said quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered in return, trailing off as sleep once again overtook him. Twenty-four hours wasn't going to be enough time for him to be ready to just start running for his life again. But it was all we really had.