Guilt (A Zero Spin-Off)

Thirteen - Ella

When he took off his shirt I couldn't look away. Okay, I totally could, but with that - and by that I mean those abs, oh my God, those abs - in my line of sight, I really didn't want to. I'd never seen a man that looked like him half naked and in broad daylight. Kinsley would have told me I was being too obvious, that I needed to play it cooler, but I doubted she'd ever seen abs that good either. I did however, look away when he dropped his pants, deciding that the question of boxers or briefs was better left unknown for the moment. A little mystery is a good thing.

I didn't know what I was doing. I hadn't walked with him to the water with the intention of stripping down in front of him, but once I was there and he smiled... I wanted more. I didn't want to flirt with him, I just wanted him. I had since he nearly kissed me the other night.

I wasn't this girl.

I wasn't daring. I didn't strip down in front of hot boys or invite them into the water with me. I mean, holy crap, I was acting downright brazen. There was a time when I rolled my eyes and judged girls who threw themselves at men exactly like I was doing. It wasn't that I was some naive innocent little girl. I wasn't. School and work made it hard for anything serious, but I'd dated around. I wasn't bold, though. For Christ's sake, the handful of times I'd had sex were less than stellar; I'm talkin' lights off, shirt on. And if I'm being brutally honest, he kept his socks on. Yeah. I was that girl.

And yet, there I was. Half naked and jumping into the water like some ridiculous spring breaker.

It was sudden. It was out of the blue. I could tell I had caught Kyle completely off guard. I sort of took myself by surprise as well. There had been a little flirting here and there, and the attraction was there, but I knew this was the last thing on his mind when we walked over here.

Like I said, I didn't know what I was doing, or thinking.

But I did know that Kyle spent the last few days that we'd been here avoiding me. It wasn't until I cornered him asking for help with the whole fighting zombies thing that he was forced to spend time with me. Sure, he could have been avoiding me because he just didn't like me and if that were true, I was really embarrassing myself. But I didn't think that was the case.

I saw the way he was looking at me, his eyes like fire on my skin had warmed every inch of my body.

But there was more to it than just attraction.

I had also seen the way a nervous energy settled over every single person in the house at the announcement we'd be leaving in two days. Even Zero, who before today had me thinking she didn't feel much emotion at all, seemed antsy about heading into such a crowded city. I may not have known them all that well, but I knew enough to know that people that experienced being that nervous wasn't a good sign. The odds of us all making it back in one piece seemed to be dwindling.

And if I was being totally honest, I was terrified. Not of Kyle, or what I was doing, that was the least scary part of this. I was scared of what was going to happen when we left here... unnerved that'd I'd have to do the things Zero tried to teach me. Scared that I'd get separated again and this time there would be no knife-throwing hero to save the day. I was terrified that H-26 wouldn't be there. Terrified that someone would die and, ultimately, it would be my fault because this was my trip. And I was so, so scared that it would be me.

I think that probably made me a coward, being more scared of my own death than anyone else's. Maybe it would be fitting for me to get bit and turn into one of them. Maybe that's what I deserved. But I was so goddamned scared of it. And I knew if I gave myself time to think about it, I'd never leave the safety of that inn.