Guilt (A Zero Spin-Off)

FortySix - Kyle

Something was pulling at me, nudging me out of a deep sleep. I pried my eyelids open, blinking awake, my vision coming in to focus on Ella.

Ella.

Ella who was alive.

I was slow to remember arriving at base the night before. The guards had no knowledge of Ella's arrival, or of anyone's arrival. Joel had pointed out that they were probably not on shift when she arrived, so we'd have to just check it out. I was hesitant to believe it, right up until my lips were on hers confirming she was real. Alive. Right in front of me.

And now she was... trying to take off my pants?

I lifted an eyebrow, or tried to. I wasn't sure how well my face was working. They must have given me something, though I had no idea when, because it wasn't just my face I couldn't feel, it was all of me. There was a dull throbbing in my leg, but nothing severe. I think I smiled.

"Trying to get me naked?"

Ella's eyes shot up to mine, realizing only now that I was awake, and a soft blush tinted her cheeks before her lips spread into a smile.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"Just molest me in my sleep?"

Her lips pursed and a disturbed look crossed her features. "Not molest," she said. "I'm rescuing you. Quite the turn here, for you to be the damsel in distress."

"My prince," I said and Ella's lips twitched.

"I'm just trying to get you out of these filthy pants before they cause an infection or something."

"I think I need you to come here." I lifted an arm to give her space. "I missed you."

She bit back a smile. "I think that's all the percocet talking." She tugged again. "Since you're awake, think you can help?"

I shook my head, kind of enjoying this, but also too comfortable to move and risk dealing with real pain again. Ella didn't look amused. Well, she was trying not to look amused at least.

"I need a shower."

"Sure," she nodded. "Did you want me to get Joel? He just took Hunter and the girls to get food."

"I don't need him," I said. "But if you wanted to help me get clean, I wouldn't complain."

Ella's eyebrows shot up and a short giggle left her lips. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sound. I could live and die on the sound of her laugh.

"You should probably stop talking," she whispered. "The pain killers are pretty strong."

I thought for a second, but none of the thoughts flying around my head were things I wouldn't admit sober. I didn't think. So I shrugged. "I'm not going to regret anything I say to you."

She leaned toward me and let her fingers slide down the side of my face.

"I'm really, really glad you're okay, Ky."

I caught her hand in mine before it slipped off of my jaw and held it there, relishing the simple touch. A touch that I never thought I'd feel again. "I think I'm in love with you."

Okay, I thought, probably shouldn't have let that little thought out. Maybe she was right and I should have shut my mouth because the moment I stared into those big ol' brown eyes, the words just sort of spilled out. And they were true, I'd realized it when I saw her, alive, last night. Now that I had said it, I wanted to keep saying it. Again and again. Over and over until my tongue was too tired to continue speaking.

Ella's expression didn't look happy enough though. And I was a damn catch. She should be happier. Instead her eyes were wide and her eyebrows were way up by her hairline.

Apparently it wasn't such a good time to let her know.

"And I know that's the percocet talking," she said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

"It's not," I said quietly, though it was a lie. Not that I loved her. I'd tell her that a hundred more times if she wanted, but I knew I wouldn't have said it under different circumstances. Not that that stopped me. When I opened my mouth again, more came out in a voice that even to my own ears was lazy and slurred. "It's all I've been thinking about since I saw you."

Ella looked away, but I caught sight of the grin she'd been trying to hide. "Come on, I'll help you get to the shower." Pulling her hand free from where I held it, she offered it to me once again to help me up. Sitting in a more upright position and then trying to stand, I noticed the effects of the pain killers a lot more readily. Feeling off balance, I closed my eyes and tried to push away some of the grogginess and stiffness of my limbs.

Ella helped me outside and to the showers that were set up as a small cubicle room with a shower curtain to separate the shower area from the dry, dressing area that offered a little more privacy. She turned on the water and then moved so that I could get in. She closed the curtain before I could even turn around, letting me know she would stay just on the other side to make sure I was okay.

I managed, even in an off balance, injured and drugged state to undress without falling over and toss the wet, soiled clothing onto the other side.

"Sure you don't want in on this action?" I said knowing full well that I was not a pretty sight at the moment. She didn't answer, but I wasn't discouraged. "You're my nurse, huh?" I asked. "Any chance you'll wear one of those little outfits for me... I think it would go a long way in making me feel better."

"Oh my god," she said but her voice was muffled, so I guessed she had covered her mouth with her hand.

Clean, I swept open the shower curtain and watched, amused as her eyes widened.

"You are shameless," she said but the way her gaze wandered over my body said she didn't mind. Right until she reached my legs and she frowned and passed me the towel.

"It doesn't even hurt," I said wanted to make her frown disappear as I wrapped the towel around hips.

It worked when she looked at me like I'd lost my mind, lips twitching into a smirk. "Of course it doesn't. You're extra doped up right now."

I shrugged, knowing she was right but not caring even a little.

"You know what—" I paused when the towel slipped from my fingers and I had to position it back around my hips. I fought with the thing for a minute before giving up and letting it drop. Ella's expression was more shocked than it should have been considering I'd been inside her. She kept her eyes glued to mine. "You know what I think?"

"I'm sure I don't."

Cute. I grinned.

"You love me too," I said and Ella looked down, pulling her gaze which bounced right back up when she got an eyeful. I didn't care. Maybe it was the drugs. Maybe I was just confident.

"You," she said, flustered. "You need to stop talking." She held out a hand. Pretending to block her view. "And put some damn clothes on."

She was cute all flustered and riled up.

I bent down to pick up the towel again and without thinking put too much weight on my leg and nearly went all the way to the ground when the pain shot up me. Ella was by my side in a second, helping me regain balance and making sure I was alright. As the pain returned to a deadened throb, I smiled. She definitely loved me.