The Darkest Souls

The Nineteenth Chapter: Empty Soul

I stared at the still forms of Michael and Theo. It was dark outside and they had fallen asleep quickly. It took me hours to fall asleep, so I usually just worked until I fell asleep in the middle of it all.

I rummaged through my bag as I looked for something to amuse myself with. Clothes, weren't any good for amusement. Water bottles, they weren't interesting either. I reached my hand to the bottom of the bag and my fingers slid over a pen. I immediately got excited. If I had my pen, then that meant I had remembered to bring my book too. Writing was good for me. Even thought my writing was probably for a morbid reason if judged by the world, but it meant a lot to me.

I pushed things out of the way until I felt the book. I pulled it out and stared at its cover. It had a golden inscription. It had my mother's name written on it, because it used to be hers. She just never had the time to find a use for it. The cover was worn, the book was old, but I loved it.

I opened turned open the cover and flipped through to the next blank page. It was originally a completely blank book, so I wrote the story into it. From my soul to the page. I wrote messily "chapter twenty-seven" along the top of the page.

My book meant more than anything else ever really could. It was more important than my own life. I didn't write a normal story within. I wrote letters. I wrote them to one person alone. Only I didn't yet know who he was. Just that he would need these. Being the way I am I always knew I would have to die one day. Everyone would, but for me specifically, I knew I would have to die for the person I loved most. A monster like myself couldn't go on living selfishly. I wrote these notes for whoever the person was, so that they could read my soul's feelings after I had died. Once I was gone.

I wrote today's date underneath the page chapter and began my entry:

Hello again,

Currently I'm on a train with an older, and a younger boy. They mean a lot to me currently. Michael and Theo. I don't think I could thank Michael enough for the things he has done to save my life. Nor could I ever be grateful enough for the acceptance I had got from Theo. He's a precious boy. I'm sure no matter what, they will grow up to be important people in this world.

I know I've mentioned this before, but it's as if I can already sense your heart. Even though I don't know who you are. I promise I loved you. I really do apologize if sacrificing my life has put you in a terrible position.

I'm currently headed towards a fight at the White House. I worry that this may be my last entry... I worry that this coming time will be my passing. Of course if you're reading this you'll already know. I promise you I tried to be careful, in case I end up messing up or something.

I have a strong feeling I know who I've written this letter to, but of course I won't mention names... Teenage girls aren't supposed to be the brightest, or so I've been told. I feel like it sometimes as well. I think that's mostly the effect of being intimidated by Michael though.

I really am quite happy to be able to go in to this war. Whether it ends well or not. It is a chance to fight for my lifelong dream. Not very many people get an opportunity like this. And you should know that I go into this mess with that mindset. I hope chapter twenty-nine will come... I plan on skipping chapter twenty-eight. You'll have to imagine that section of time yourself. Or, maybe I'll write it... and just tear it out. Hmm. That's what I'll do.  Of course you'll never find it, but that will amuse me. So look forward to twenty-nine. That chapter may not come, but if it does, it means I'll know who you are, and if I get to writing it- then maybe things worked out to where I wasn't obligated to die. Maybe my dreams will have become a reality.

Anyways, back to chapter twenty-seven. I stare outside the window and I hope nobody's outside there. It looks deathly cold, and to make things worse- there is a rainy storm. I really don't know what Michael would think on the matter. He loves storms, but he hates the cold. If I had to take a guess I would assume he didn't like it. Usually, even in the best of us humans, hatred takes over and blinds us from the things we have or ever could love.

I'm really glad I have gotten the opportunity to write tonight. I was bored out of my mind. I just pray this pen won't dry out before I'm finished writing~ if the letter stops abruptly. You'll know why. I don't have backups- my apologies. I was rushed.

Life is sort of dull at the moment. Well, that's a lie, but overall. Okay, never mind. It's actually been very exciting and blood rushing. I got to see my brother, Jackson... not Isaiah, recently. We had to split ways when we were being chased after. Post escape of our prison. He was with the others though, so I'm sure he'll be fine. They'll figure this out, well, Von probably knew the plan of the attack from the start. Once they reach D.C. Jackson will get to see Vana, our aunt. I know she will take good care of him. She always has been good to us. In her odd ways.

I'm sort of starving right now, but I'm way too lazy to get up and check out the restaurant here. Yes, there is in fact an actual restaurant. I've no idea where, but I overheard some people talking earlier today. I WASN'T eavesdropping for the record. I was just observing my surroundings. I was bored okay? I'm stuck on this long ride without anything to do, but embarrass myself, and I figure I've already done that enough.

I've got to say my goodbye before I ramble too much about things you probably don't even care about. Love you, good night. I'll see you one day. Whether I'm living or dead, we'll meet again. Never let the skies intimidate you, let them show you the possibilities.

~Lacey Jen Evans~

Just about sixteen. Unfortunately the age of fifteen has seemed to haunt me and drag out my year. As for tomorrow... wish me luck.

I shut the book and slid the pen over the cover. I kissed the cover and set it in my bag. I tossed it down onto the ground and laid out on the long bench-thing. Michael was on the other, and Theo had fallen asleep against the wall while he sat on the ground. Unfortunately, there weren't any beds, but I was tired enough that wouldn't really matter.

I turned until I was fairly comfortable and I shut my eyes. I was looking forward to waking up. Tomorrow we would arrive in D.C. early in the day. We would finally be there. We would finally have a chance to fight back for what should have been ours from the very start. Our freedom. The freedom that we lost. Until I have my opportunity to win back the world to perfect serenity, all I have is an empty soul.