struggling➾ phan (complete)

epilogue

i know i said this book was complete but it ended so abruptly, so here's an epilogue.

March 23 2022

looking back on everything now, i laugh. i laugh at the way phil was so blindly telling me he loved me and i was too caught up with myself to notice. and i remember how helpless i felt, i'm so grateful for phil, if he wasn't there for me, i'd be dead. i wouldn't be sitting here now with dil sat on my lap watching cartoons, and phil who was sat beside me, his head on my shoulders. i couldn't be happier.

i have all that i could ask for, and more.

i looked down to phil, his eyes were softly drooping, and his grip on my hand was loosening. i smiled to myself, and pushed his fringe back so that his forehead could actually breathe for once.

"daddy, can you change the channel! i want animals!" dil whined, i pulled him closer to me.

"of course" i switched the tv to discovery channel, there was currently two lions fighting over a zebra carcass. i didn't mind dil watching these things, he was already 7 years old and he had no interest in cartoons, only animals, mainly lions. i adored this, because i know phil rubbed off on him.

he has learned many aspects from phil, he never wears matching socks, and he always ate my cereal.

i moved him from my lap and onto the other side of the couch. i stood up to make us three some breakfast, which was usually phil's job but i let him slack this one time.

i started to prepare our normal breakfast, some bacon and eggs, two coffees, and one mickey mouse shaped pancake for dil. i was halfway through finishing when i felt a pair of arms slink around my waist.

i turned around and met phils tired eyes. it was amazing to me how we've been married for 8 years and i could still get caught up in his eyes, or just the simple gesture of small kisses or holding my hand in public could still make me blush. i'd say thats what you call true love.

"morning phil, sleep well?" i pulled his head into my chest, and hugged him.

"yes, your shoulder is comfortable"

i laughed, and nudged him off me, returning back to the food. it was falling apart, the mickey mouse looked nothing like a mouse at all, it was just scraps of burned pancake mix clumped together. phil saw my struggle and laughed so hard his tongue stuck out and his face turned crimson red.

"fine, you do it then, mister 'i'm so good at making pancakes'." i shoved the spatula in his hands, and watched him try to fix the mess i made. he actually did pretty good, he just gave the shreds of my pancake to our dog, she ate anything we gave her.

i let him go on with making the food, and i began setting up the table.

"dil, come to the table the food's ready!" i saw him shoot up from his seat and run over to the table. i laughed at him, and took the seat next to him.

phil brought the food over and we all started eating. i couldn't help but see how much our lives have gotten better. we have an actual family, and an actual child to feed and bathe, and we did it. to think that me and phil, were taking care of another human life was amazing, and on top of that there was an animal to take care of, and judging from how she sat there, bits of pancake dangling from her mouth, she seemed pretty happy, and so did dil.

we all finished our food, and i was washing up while phil and dil cleaned the house a bit, as a guest was coming over in an hour or so. we haven't seen him for a while now, but he was a very important part of our happiness and he basically created our family. so we gave him the title of dils godfather, but he likes to call him uncle.

before we knew it, we heard the doorbell ring, and i saw dils face light up from across the room. i went over to open the door.

he looked great, but his hair was a bit shorter.

"troye! welcome" i pulled him in for a hug, and relished in nostalgia. there were so many memories with troye from my past and it seems to build up a knot in my chest. i pulled away, and smiled, letting troye in, only to be trampled by dil, as always.

i then greeted his husband, tyler, who was always so sweet to me and honestly he was such a good guy i really enjoy being around him. they've been married for about three years, it took troye a while to muster up the courage to propose, but i remember it like it was yesterday. they were perfect for each other. i'm proud to say that me and troye rebuilt our friendship after what happened so long ago between him and phil, and i'm proud of phil for forgiving him too.

we all walked in and settled on the couch. dil was currently playing with a doll troye brought for him, most of dils toys came from troye, i think he would make a great father, but him and tyler have yet to adopt one.

troye and phil talked for a while, and tyler was sat with dil, playing along with him. everyone was so happy, and i couldn't believe that this is what my life has become. ten years ago, i would have never known i would be best friends with troye and his husband, who thank god, wasn't phil. and i would be married to the man of my dreams, with a child and a dog to take care of. it was like a dream come true, and i couldn't ask for more, and i know me and phil will be happy together for the rest of our lives, i'm just waiting for the day to come where i can say, i've finally grown old with phil.

this is the most fun ive ever had.

a/n

i'm so emotional, i wrote this book over a year ago and it's come so far thank you all <3

((also go read my book ''flashlight//phan'' thanks))