I Still Miss You//Jack J

"Hi Alex"

The tour has gone really good so far. Orlando, i met a bunch of fans and preformed skits.

Ricky and Trevor sang their songs and we made Andrea sing. She hated it, but we all thought it was really good. and so did all the fans. the crowd was so hype i was shook. great way to start off the tour.

last night in Atlanta, was little crazy. somebody passed out and had to leave the arena. although that happened, it was hype, everybody was jumping around, we thru water out to everybody, and nobody else had to leave.

we did go to the hospital, after we found out what hospital she went to, and met her after the show. when she woke up, she saw us in the room and freaked out, thankfuly she didnt pass out again.

tonight is Nashville. i heard from different people that Nashville is always hype and always a fun crowd so im hoping tonight will be lit. which, no doubt, it will. Our fans are amazing.

its been a week since i found out im pregnant. And the morning sickness is just great. (Note the sarcasm)

Jack facetimed me everynight and so did my mom. Ricky and Andrea took care me also. I mean, theres no bump yet, but still.

"Hey, did you ever facetime sammy?" I looked at ricky werid "why would i do that? I havent talked to him since johnsons funeral" his eyes widened.

"Oh, i havent told you" i furrowed my brows. "Told me what"

"That sammy called and asked for you and i told him you were busy and i told him you would facetime him later" i nodded. "Okay"

"Can i stay?" He smiled. I laughed and nodded.

I facetimed him and after 2 rings he answered.

"Hi alex" i smiled "hey sammy"

"Listen, i know your on tour, and i know i havent talked you in forever so-

"Ya, 10 months sammy" i cleared my throat.

"I know, and im so so so sorry" i nodded. "I just wanted to let you know that im still here for you"

"So where were you when johnson died?"
"I-
"When i thought that my world was ending, when my best friend wasnt here anymore? When i needed someone so much, where were you? Ya i know your world was ending to, having johnson die was so hard for all of us, but, we couldve helped each other sammy, i wasnt eating, i wasnt sleeping, i was barley going to school, my anxiety got worse. You know how many times i called johnson, hoping hed answer, but just to hear his voicemail, over and over again, just to hear his voice" i looked down and wiped my eyes.

"I know, alex, did i tell you i went to rehab?"

"No-

"I went to rehab, for 4 months, i was doing really bad, drinking alot, i shaped up real quick, havent drank since. After i got out, i was hanging with nash, and thats when Jack came to visit. I freaked thinking somebody was pranking us, but nash informed me this wasnt the first time he visited him, it was the second, and nash told me he visited jack and you the night before to" i nodded.

"Whens the last time he visited you?" I asked.

"Acouple of nights ago. You?"

"2 months ago"

"You still miss him?"

"I still miss him"

I talked to sammy for 3 hours. Going on to our 4th. And ricky was sound alseep on my bed.

I laughed. "Remember when you, jack j, and jack g got high for the first time" we laughed "yall were so stupid"

"We were freshmans"

"Sammy, i got high for the first time in 7th grade"

"Okay, but you and johnson also werent virgins in the 9th grade" he laughed and stopped when he noticed i wasnt.
I got quite. That was a touchy subject. And we both regreted that.

"I know and we both regreted that, one of the biggest mistakes of my life"

"Was the other one kissing me sophmore year?" I face palmed my self. "Yes, it was, gooodd why did i do that?" We laughed.

"I miss you alex"

"I miss you to sammy, ill come see you when i get home" he nodded.

"Oh and sammy"

"Ya?"

"I totally forgot, i dont know how, but i did, but what if i told you, that, i, was,

"Alex spit it out" he laughed.

"That i was pregnant, with jacks baby"

"Alex, so your baby is 1 month old?"

"Oh, lord no sammy, not johnson, Gilinsky" his eyes widened. Then he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Sammy, what?"

"Whens the last time you talk to jack?"

I looked over and ricky was up, looking at me.
"like last night, why?"

"Facetime?" I nodded. "Where was he? Did he seem, alittle, distracked?" I started to think hard.

I nodded slowly. "Sammy, please dont tell me-

"I saw him with a girl the other night at rupps house party, the went upstairs and then i saw him with her the other day at the store, Babe, i think hes seeing someone while your on tour.

I started to breath really heavy and my heart was pounding. My head was spinning. I started to cry.

"Alex, im gonna go find jack, ill keep you updated. Ill keep texting you, okay? Call him, okay?" I nodded. "Thank you sammy" he shook his head and nodded. He ended the call.

"Alex, are you okay?" I looked at ricky and looked down, and nodded my head. "Alex, look at me, dont lie to me, are you okay?" I shook my head and started to cry again.

All i did was hug ricky and sit there and cry.

"Hey, bout to get ready for the show- alex, are you okay" i looked up and saw andrea. I shook my head.

Johnson, i need you here.