Black Butler: The Stellar Dove

24.3

  "Estella," a voice woke me, along with a hand stroking my hair. I opened my eyes to find Sebastian standing in the darkness. I realized I was still in the master's bed. "Would you like to move to your room?"

I nodded and slipped out of the covers as quietly as I could, as to not disturb Ciel. Once we were in the hall, Sebastian lit the candle stick and led me to my room. I sat down on the bed, but did not sleep.

"Sebastian," I asked him. "Did you find anything related to the case?"

"That information is best saved for morning," he said with a smile. "Go to sleep now. You need your rest."

"I'm not tired," I told him. "I've slept awhile."

He sighed heavily, setting the candles on the bedside and taking a seat beside me. I pulled my legs close, tucking my cold feet under the covers.

"I happened to find a suspicious building near the street where I met you."

"You want to take me there?" I guessed.

"Yes, I think it could have some relation to you," he admitted. "But that's enough for now. We'll go tomorrow if the young master feels better."

"Alright," I said, leaning up against the bedpost. A heavy feeling suddenly sunk into my heart, a feeling that had been there since I woke up. It made my blood run cold and my sadness heavy, my happiness dormant. "I'm still not tired..."

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

"It's... a feeling of dread," I admitted. As soon as I spoke it, the feeling welled up in me and choked me, streaming down my face in tears. "I... I think... I'm afraid. Afraid to find out who I am. I don't... I don't want to leave here..."

"Estella," he placed a hand on mine.

I collapsed onto him, embracing him tightly. "I... I don't want to lose you—or anyone else here. I don't want it to be over yet."

"Whatever do you mean?" he asked, cradling me in his arms.

"I don't know..." I whispered. How could I tell him everything I felt when I couldn't understand it myself? I felt like a beautiful song nearing its end, like a clock was ticking its final minutes, like there was nothing left around the corner. "I'm scared."

"My darling," he told me, his lips brushing my forehead. "I cannot promise you that you will be here forever. I cannot promise that tragedy will never reach you. But, you that you are safe in my arms tonight."

I clutched his chest, sobbing now. "I don't want it to end, though... I know it will have to..."

"Do not think about the inevitable end," he told me, pulling away to meet my eyes. "What kind of life does that make?"

I caught my breath at last, my trembling body steading itself.

"What I want you to think about... tonight..." his hand cupped my face as he leaned into me, his lips meeting mine. "Is not your past or your future, but now... this moment..." His arms wrapped around my waist. "My warmth... focus on every heart beat... every breath... every second, and not it's passing. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes..." I sighed, holding him tighter. "May I ask you something, also?"

"What is it?" He paused, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Spend the night with me." I pulled away, wrapping my hands around his. "I don't want to be alone right now."

He smiled. "Of course, my lady..."

He lay down with me, and stayed by my side until the sun rose. That night, I had the most amazing dream. It was everything—every bit of my happiness and peace, poured into one flash of events. In it, I did as Sebastian told me to. I remembered everyone I loved, and who loved me, and decided that even if my life should end at that very moment, even in the greatest pain... I was glad I had them, and for everything good life had given me. It was simply beautiful.

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