Sammi and Sam's Supernatural Adventures

Desperately Seeking Help

Even with the medicine, my dreams were still coming and going. None of them were as bad as that very first one, but they came close. They also came at random times; most of them occurred when Sam and I went to bed at night, but there were a few I had when I would take a quick nap or fell asleep watching TV. It came to a point where the dreams I was having at night were so intense that I was unknowingly beating the crap out of Sam as I slept. And God bless that boy's heart, he would just allow me to hurt him and didn't say a word about it. It wasn't until I noticed that he had numerous bruises and welts on his body that he finally came clean about how they got there. "So I did this to you?" I asked one day. "It's really alright, sweetheart," he insisted. "You've seen what some of the monsters out there have done to me. This is really not a big deal." "I'm beating you up in my sleep because the nightmares keep coming," I said. "How is this ok???" "Because I love you and seriously, it doesn't hurt that much," he smiled. "Does anyone else know about this??" I asked. "I promise you that I have been covering up the evidence," he said. "No one knows but me." I shook my head. "I think it's time I went and got some professional help for this," I told him. "You mean like a psychiatrist?" he asked. "What other option do I have?" I replied. "The medicine only helps so much. There might be another underlying cause that's contributing to my nightmares. I've been through trauma before and never had this much trouble." "You saw your brother and our son dead in a dream," he said. "That would traumatize anyone." "Enough for me to beat the Hell out of my husband, though?" I asked. "Face it babe, I need additional help. I don't like what's happening to me, what I'm doing to you, any of it." It took me a while to finally convince Sam to let me get help for my problem, but when he finally agreed, I called up my dad to see if he knew anyone I could go to. Naturally, since my dad knew a lot of people, he gave me a name right away and promised me he was the best in his profession. I called the number and made an appointment to be seen the following day. Early the next morning, Sam and I left the kids home with Dean and Declan and headed for the doctor's office. "Do you want me to go in with you?" he asked. "I'll be alright, honey," I promised. "Why don't you go drive around for an hour, keep yourself occupied?" "I'd rather just wait here, in case you need me or something," he smiled. "Suit yourself," I smiled back, giving him a kiss before entering the room. "You must be Samantha," the doctor said, extending his hand. "I'm Dr. Logan, but you can call me Ben if you'd like. So your dad told me you've been having some pretty intense dreams?" "I suffered a trauma about a month ago and the nightmares come and go," I explained. "The first one was definitely the worst, but they've been so intense that I've been beating up my husband in my sleep." "Why don't you lie down on the couch and we'll get to work trying to figure out if there are other incidents that could be contributing to these dreams?" he said. You would be surprised just how much territory one can cover in only an hour with a shrink. By the end of our session, Dr. Logan was certain we had found a majority of the reason I was having such visions. We made plans for me to come back a few more times just so we could cover every little detail of the traumas I had suffered over the years (not just the ones I had suffered since the boys and my dad came back into my life). When I went to sleep that night, my mind was a little more at ease than it had been the past few weeks and I wound up having a good dream for a change. I knew my problem was far from over, but it was a great start. I wasn't dreaming of monsters killing off my family members, and I wasn't beating up Sam as I slept. I DID, however, have to help him explain everything to Dean one day when he forgot to cover up his wounds. "So your wife has been having nightmares, beating you up in her sleep, and rather than say anything you just lay there and take it?" Dean asked. "Pretty much," Sam said. "If that isn't true love, I don't know what is," Dean told us. "It's actually kind of sweet, but in a crazy way." "I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I AM getting help so that it will stop eventually," I said. "Actually, the last few days since my first appointment, I've had nothing but good dreams." "That's great, princess," Dean said. "Most people would be ashamed to admit they need help." "The old me might have, and I was honestly hoping to avoid it this time around, but when I found out what I was doing to Sam, I had to put my pride aside," I explained. "That's when I knew it was getting out of hand, even though your brother insisted it was alright." "You were seriously going to let the beatings continue?" Dean asked Sam. "I figured the nightmares would eventually stop," Sam said. "And I've been hurt a lot worse by some of the creatures we've dealt with." "You are such a bitch," Dean winked. "Shut up, jerk," Sam smiled. It was going to be a long road for me, but having these two on my side was going to make the journey a bit smoother for sure.