alone『 kickthestickz + phan au 』

a footprint, a fly, and a kite

Daniel never had the luxury of saying goodbye.
It was so sudden, gone in a moment.
Like a match blown out by the wind or a violent crack of thunder.
A life, a death, before he could even blink.
He was left, like a footprint in the dirt, soon to be forgotten.
He was alone.

Christopher never had the luxury of self worth.
He thought of himself as he thought of the dirt on the ground or the nasty flies in the air.
He longed for friendship stronger than he had, he longed for people to think of him better than they did, he longed for attention.
Longing is a difficult thing.
So he got caught in it, the never ending spiral.
The darkness consumed him all too quickly, but he wasn't gone.
He wasn't gone but
He was alone.

PJ never had the luxury of self control.
He let himself go.
Like a kite on a windy day.
Quickly being pushed further and further away from his origin.
He sat in solitude in his bedroom, drowning his feelings in bitter tasting drink.
There was a girl there too but
He was still alone.

Philip was the only one who was not alone.
Unfortunately, he wasn't anything anymore.

But maybe all of the 3 remaining boys could be connected somehow.
And through their shared grief, love and fear, they could make it through.

Just maybe.

coming soon...

(in no way am I trying to romanticise mental illness, grief or addiction but I am trying to romanticise recovery)
(this book starts out sad and is based on some very sad topics so if you're super sad and don't wanna get more sad don't read this)
(I warned you)