Can't - Mark Tuan Fan fic

10 - Holy Sh*t! What Have I Done?

"See, Cristina. I like you."  

I just stood there, frozen for ... I don't even know how long. So many thoughts ran into my mind. I'm happy, yet surprised. Really really shocked. I wanted to say I like him, too. But, my mouth seemed to be too dry to spit the words out. Also, something else in me was saying 'NO' - that I had to wait a bit longer; that it's not time to be in a relationship yet. 

Junior's shy face became troubled after waiting for some time. He furrowed his brows, bit his lips, then his head hang low. Soon after, he just left. 

"I'm sorry." He said before leaving. 

Even when I was alone, I still couldn't move. A part of me wanted to turn around and run after him, but my body just wouldn't follow. The next thing I know, I'm at a club, listening to Mark's advice. 

"You're not stupid." He finally says. I notice a sudden change in his expression. "You're the smartest girl I know, Cristina. You don't need to answer him immediately you know. Give it more time. It was right for you not to accept his feelings just yet. Get to know him better. Besides, you have to concentrate on your training first, you shouldn't be distracted with relationships."

"Right?" I know he could relate. With his long distance relationship with Lara, I feel he's having a hard time, but he doesn't show it. He laughs when I make him and works really hard when it's time to train. He doesn't seem to be bothered now by his problems and it's quite refreshing to see. "I knew you're the right person to tell this." 

"Do you like him enough to get in a relationship with him?" He suddenly asks, making me think again. 

"I don't know." I shake my head. I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship just yet with anybody. "I never really thought of that. He's cute...and kind...and really really hot, but... I didn't really think of us being a couple. You know what I mean?"

He sighs. Maybe a bit tired because of me. Today was a long day and he still came with me even though it was obvious the last thing he wanted to do was drink. 

"But, I do like him. Maybe I'd consider. He is, after all, perfect." I say, just to end the conversation. I'm sure he doesn't want to here my thoughts. He's just doing this cause Lara told him to. 

No matter how hard I try to make up for the bad things I've done to him, there's still a gap between us. Maybe because he still hates me but is just doing this for his girlfriend. He knows he'd get in trouble with Lara if he leaves me alone to drink. That must be it. 

I know it's bad to be using him like this. You know, blackmailing him just so I would have somebody to listen to me rant. But, at this certain time that I'm so confused, he's the first person that comes to mind - not Angie, not even Junior, but him. 

I am so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice how he stares at me intently. Only when I snap out of it that I realize he's been looking straight into my eyes and that the tip of his nose is almost touching mine. 

At this close proximity, I can smell his perfume. It's very masculine, fitting him to perfection. I can see how his lashes naturally curls up a bit at the tip, and the mole just at the lower eyelid margin of his left eye. 

I don't know how...or why...or what happened in between, but our lips just connected. Snap. Just like that. I don't know what I'm thinking either, or what happened to me. When he tilts his head to the side and moves his lips, I move mine with him, closing my eyes. Despite the alcohol we've both just consumed, his lips taste sweet. 

His hand moves down to my waist, pulling himself closer. Voluntarily, my arm goes around his neck and my fingers play with his hair at his nape. 

The kiss becomes more heated when his tongue finds its way inside my mouth. I can't resist wanting to taste more of him as I press against him harder.