Can't - Mark Tuan Fan fic

18 - The Hell Is Going On?

"I'm breaking up with her."  

"WHAAATTTT????" I get up from bed, not able to digest what is happening here. I pick up my clothes scattered all over the room and get in the bathroom to change. 

Mark, holds the door open. He's already in his boxers, making me question how fast he moves. Damn it! Wait...that's not important right now. 

"You can't do that, Mark." I say, not looking at him as I quickly put on my clothes. "SHIT. Just....." I squeeze my eyes close to think and run my hand through my hair. "Let's just forget this ever happened." I walk pass him to get out of the bathroom. 

But he wraps his arms around me. "Cristina. Please. You're the one I want to be with. Not her." 

It's not just lust that I'm feeling, I think I'm falling for him. Am I? WHY? I can't do this. I've already fucked him. That should be enough. But, my greed is too strong. 

My tears have stopped falling, but my fears, guilt, anger are still there. I peel his hands gently off of me. "I don't like you back, Mark. I'm sorry." I say with a straight face. I want him to think it's just his body I want, nothing else. "It was good while it lasted. But, we should stop here."

He follows me into the room, grabbing my hand. "I don't want to stop. I don't know what I should do to make you like me." He turns me around, but keeps a safe distance between us. "No matter what it takes. Even if I lose everything I have now. I just want you. I'm gonna make you mine, Cristina. I promise you that."

I keep my poker face, even if it's hard to cover the mixed emotions I'm feeling right now. I shake my head and give him a weak, apologetic smile. "No. I can never be anyone's property but my own." I pick up my purse laying on the bed and leave the room completely. 

______

I've done too many bad things already - I put Trey in danger, I betrayed my best friend, I insisted on coming here even if my dad was against it, I pushed away Angie and Junior. What else is there? I don't want to add more to that list. 

For the rest of the weekend, I stay at my grandparent's place, just an hour away from Seoul. Since I've learned enough of the language to make short conversations, being with them became more comfortable. 

The house is suitably perched on top of a low hill. Not the condo type, it's a detached house. Although it's small, it's very homey. Since it's just the two of them living there, the comfortable silence eases my tension. 

I sit on a bench at the backyard, having an afternoon tea with my grandpa. 

"Are you liking Korea?" He asks. He has a very contagious smile. Now that I see him closer, I notice how my mom resembles him a lot. I think I have his nose, too. I didn't get my dad's tall nose. But, I like mine. It's thin but pointy. Kinda like the 'less than' sign we usually draw on faces when we were kids. 

I nod my head with a smile. "It's beautiful."

"I'll take you to our hometown next weekend. You want that?" 

"Oh please." I say in delight, I didn't even notice I said it in English. I haven't really been around that much, only in Seoul. "I'd love that very much." I say in Korean this time. 

"But, aren't you busy?" He laughs. 

"I'd make time." I answer. Next Sunday, I'd be free. I don't want to spend it alone in the house. It might end up like yesterday. 

The thought makes me shiver. 

"I like you."

"I'm breaking up with her."