A Collection of Short Stories and Poems

Dolly

Prompt 5: Create a slam poem through the mind of an archetype character/persona. I chose The Sad Clown.

I am a broken toy
With my insides jumbled up
Like a mound of spaghetti
On a child's plate.

Wind me up and
Bring me to life;
It's time to play,
It's time to pretend
Once again.

Yes, I look fine with
My hair perfectly brushed and
My clothes nice and tidy;
Yes, I look happy,
But,
Oh God,

I'm miserable.

And I am starving,
Waiting for something better than this hollowness
Like a hungry dog
Watching for fallen scraps
As the child eats their spaghetti.
I am yearning for a chance to feel as happy
And free
And careless
As all those girls that play with me.
I wish to feel the same smile on my face
Like those girls do every time I joke.
Just call me the Joker, Queen of Fools.

I want to drown,
I want to die,
But why can't I care?
Why must emotion
Illude me so harshly?
But, I won't show it--
I can't show it--
Because I cannot cry.
What if I open my mouth and,
Instead of words,
A scream fills the void?

I am forced to smile,
Against my will, I might add;
It's what they want from me.
I have become nothing
But my manufactured smile
Because it is the only thing I can rely on now.

God, does this hurt.
I smile because this is the only socially acceptable way to live;
Fake all emotion
And live pretending I am strong enough
To carry the entire Earth
On my shoulders.
I am best at this.

They call me Dolly,
With my smile painted on my face
And premeditated words stuck in my chest
That no longer mean anything real.
You see, I have always been a faker.

Yes, they call me Dolly because
They know nothing about what happens
Inside my brain and the false beating of my heart
Beneath my breast.

Open me up,
See what's inside.
At this point
There is no longer anything left living
For you to find

Yes, they call me Dolly because
Of how simple it is for me
To make you laugh.
I know all of the jokes--
I have seen every punch line--
And they all play on repeat in my head
In hopes that,
One day,
They will trick my brain.
The day I will truly giggle
So I can finally sleep without
Having to scream in my head,
Without all of these tears in my bed.

Yes, they call me Dolly--
That I cannot lie.

Yes, I laugh,
But it's only to hide every stifled tear.

Yes, I smile and play,
But it's so no one else dies
Like I did long ago inside.

They call me Dolly,
It's as simple as that.

They call me Dolly
Because they think I am as happy as I look--
Because I am a broken toy
In need of a fix,
A hug,
A friend
A new beginning;
I am a broken toy
Made obsolete.

I am nothing
As sweet as a child's dolly.
They call me Dolly
Because they have no idea
What I really am.

Yes, I am happy,
But you have no idea how clever I really am;
It has been this way for years.

Yes, I am breathing,
But how does one call this living?

~By the sound of all of these, I suppose you can guess how dark my mind gets when I am allowed to write whatever I want. Lol Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and as always, this is unedited, so please comment any wonky sentences/words. Thank you!~