My Horrible Life

Happy

You know, when writing all of these chapters I've always wrote about the negative events in my life. There aren't many happy ones, but when something good happens for once I've never actually wrote about it. That was just a thought, anyway, now to get on to what's been happening.

School started, and right now it's not bad. That's of course because I just got through the second day. I know things are going to get harder, so I'm enjoying this time period while it lasts.

Jumping back to July. That's when I got a schedule prior to the first school day (obviously). But the schedule had some things that I was happy about, including having some classes with my friends. Only one thing struck me. I got band as a class. Now to some people that might not be a bad thing, but the thing is I don't play an instrument. But that was just some information and most of the reason I was stressed for the first school day. But I requested a schedule change and everything worked out in the end, getting art instead. :)

Except for one problem. My first two classes. PE (first again?) and Social Studies. Now don't get me wrong, I'd enjoy those classes if I had at least ONE fucking friend with me. There is this girl on the bus who I'm friends with and we have those classes together, but she has other friends that I don't know that she hangs out with. There's also Hailey, who I'm friends with, but the same goes for her. Some people might think, "just become friends with them." But it's not that easy for me. I'm so goddamn shy that I can't even talk to them without becoming speechless and feeling very VERY awkward. I know "I'm so special" but this shit is an actual problem that is effecting my life.

But that's why I hate the first two classes I have. That and when I'm around people don't I know I kind of become 'clingy' towards whoever I'm friends with. That makes me feel so weak and just... I don't know another word to explain it but I just want to be a role model and I don't want to be seen as someone who can be controlled. A doormat. I want the students of the school to know that I don't want anything to do with them, and that I only care about my closest friends. And I want to be able to stand up for myself. All that crap. It is so hard to talk to people if I don't know them and that's why I want at least one friend in each class. Wow, I got off track. But that's the who deal with my schedule and first two classes. I'll get to the rest later.

Now, about this morning. I actually woke up pretty good, not being too tired despite staying up until 11. But I got ready and all that crap. We almost missed the but, but we were okay. Now, there's this one kid on the bus who is just... Ugh, I don't know. He's not normal, but he's not fully mentally handicapped. I don't know how to describe him. He understands his actions yet sometimes he gets out of control. Like one time he cried, whining very loud because he wasn't able to pick his seat. Then finally his supervisor let him pick a seat and he immediately calmed down. And if your reading this thinking I'm a terrible person, you're correct. There will probably be a lot more messed up things in the future. But anyway, the worst part about this kid is that he clearly has a crush on ME! Of all people, I was given this curse?! But it gets worse. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it in this story but I'm a homosexual.

And this will continue in the next chapter because I'm nearing my bus stop.