To live past 19 #The2017Awards

Shadow in truth

In all honesty I have no idea what to tell you right now. All I can say is that I have finally finished my Dramione Fanfiction and it is considerably better than my first. Though that doesn't mean that it is fantasic nor my best work, there is always room for improvement.

From here on I am not planning on giving you any more authors notes until the end. I would deeply appreciate comments and likes, considering this took me a decent amount of time and it would mean so much to me if you did. I wrote this for my own enjoyment and yours. I would also like to request that no one comments on the grammar or spelling, due to it being mostly the main reason of conflict in the comments section and I myself not having time to go back to change it or to thank you, when in all honesty I couldn't care less. Following that note, please avoid conflict in the comments section or otherwise and if you have any questions or comments in general, I will answer those in the comments section.

Enjoy. Love Sammy.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

It has been around about 3 months later. Hermione could safely say that the time had been hard on her. Surprisingly her anger had only lasted for less than a week. After that followed depression, in which she tried to distract herself with taking up different hobbies and busying herself to the extent that she was exhausted at the end of the day. But then there were the times when she had to sleep and that was all she could think of. Hermione had taken up painting, trying to make her pictures as bright and colourful as she could manage. Trying to brighten her mood with the colours, but they seemed to pull her in to her depression even further. Finally Hermione gave into the dark colours and focused more and more on pencil and charcoal drawings. Even though her drawings would project negativity, it still gave her comfort. It had become one of her many therapies she had created for herself. Busying herself physically as best as one could when under chemo. She grown to love the Australian beaches where she lived and took up surfing and running, now enjoying the heat the country provided. The idea of taking up Martial Arts had popped up too many times for her to count, but her body didn't seem to agree with her on that. Instead she promised herself she would do it one day, though knowing that it might never happen. Even doing all of that and it helping her to some degree, Hermione was still scared of leaving everyone, scared of the pain, but most of all she was scared that she would waste the time she has left. Hermione had less than a year they told her, though that was just measuring the worst. Because she only had little time left and didn't know what she wanted to do, Hermione found a way to help herself with that. She had created a list, a list with 19 things she wanted to complete before she died. Personal things and activities, that she hadn't even told her parents about. It was another thing she wanted to do herself. It was something to make her feel independent again. Even if it was just a little list, she held on tight to her hope on paper.

------------------------------
Hermione stands on the platform in Kings Cross station, her trunk stored on her trolley and her list held out in front of her. Scanning the words over and over again. Trying to motivate herself to approach the group of people waking their way towards the wall that lead to platform 9 and 3/4. Harry and Ron chatting to each other excitedly, while Harry holds Ginny's hand in a tight grasp while she herself looks back occasionally towards Molly Weasley and George. Hermione could see the strain in Georges smile and the exhaustion in his eyes. The familiarity of that look hurts her far more than it should.

The family had walked right past her. Hermione hadn't made it obvious that she was there and didn't want to just yet. Of course they hadn't seen her. Hermione blended right into the shadows, a navy blue hoodie with the hood up, dark grey shorts because she had just directly come from Australia she didn't want to wear long pants and she wore black shirt hidden under her hoodie. The biggest change though was her short hair hidden under her hood.
The chemo had caused her hair to fall out and in the end she had just shaved it all off. Feeling free and happier when she did. Hermione remembers the stares the received in public and it had embarrassed her at first, but as the weeks went by she embraced it and it made her feel like a survivor. Even though she may not be.