To live past 19 #The2017Awards

Empty beach

Weeks went by and not much had changed. Hermione still hadn't mended the relationship with Ron or Harry and it was starting to worry her. The year would be over soon and she didn't want to leave and part ways like that. Draco didn't like that she was putting all of that effort into trying to talk to them again and they weren't returning the gesture. Hermione had a clock ticking and the others didn't. Of the course the others didn't know that but he did and he hated it. Draco wasn't sure if she should finally tell them of her condition, but he could understand why she didn't. She is too proud for that. Hermione doesn't want to admit it but she has another reason not to tell them. She wants them to feel guilty for leaving her in her time of need and not being there for her. All she ever wants is to be their friend and they couldn't do that.

If it weren't for Draco and the other friendships she's gained, then she would be miserable. But then again, if it weren't for Draco then she probably wouldn't have a problem with her friends. Either way Hermione couldn't regret anything even if she tried.

Hermione goes back to her usual hospital every weekend and gets treated and monitored. Loosing all of her hair again and she started hating it even more than usual. Draco shaved his head again to give her some comfort and kept telling her that she is beautiful. He tries to make her stay there as nice and fun as possible. When her parents aren't there and go home they would do anything they could to pass the time. A couple of times Draco would ask to use the kitchen they had there and they would bake all sorts of cookies and cake and pass it around all through the hospital. The children where especially delighted and it made Hermione incredibly happy. Sometimes Draco even forgot sometimes of the seriousness of the situations because it became such a regular thing for them and they always went back to school in the end. But Hermione could never forget for even a few minutes of her situation. She hadn't told him and made sure that no one else would, but she was getting worse. She felt it constantly getting worse and tried really hard to not make it as obvious. In Hermione's opinion she was succeeding. He wasn't watching her with a constant worried or sad expression, he is always happy around her.

Hermione watches Draco sleeping on the couch. She feels the warm tears run down her cheeks and a slight frown makes her head hurt a little. The room is dark and the only light is form outside, the moon casting silvery light. Giving the room a magical glow. She knows she doesn't have much time and it is tearing her apart form the inside. She doesn't want to leave her friends, her parents and most of all she doesn't want to leave Draco. She is aware of how much he relies on her, she keeps him sane and if she left she could only imagine with how he would handle it. She can't leave him like that, she has to do something before she goes.

Draco wakes up in the night, feeling as if something is wrong. He quickly looks over to Hermione's hospital bed and sees it to be empty. Draco violently tries to untangle himself form his sheets and springs to door. He tries to be quiet, knowing that there are other people who are sleeping. He frantically wanders through the hallway looking for her and asking some nurses and doctors who are on their night shift if they had seen her, without making them panic.

He finds her in the kitchen with a cold cup of tea in her hands sitting at the kitchen bench. He stands in the doorway watching her. Hermione stares blankly into space deep in though. Her medical supplies still attached next to her. Hermione's breathing is deep and loud, almost sounding like quiet gasps fro air. Draco imagined it was because of exhaustion and lack of sleep.

"Can't sleep?" His voice is loud compared to the silence. Hermione flinches and turns in her chair to look at him. She doesn't reply and Draco goes to join her on the high chair next to hers.

"This is the first time you have woken up." She comments clutching onto her cold cup.

Draco looks at her closely with narrowed eyes. Hermione had been getting up every night ever since before the holiday. Making herself or someone else would make her a tea or a warm milk. The nurse always makes her one in the hospital. She is always there waiting for her, knowing that Hermione comes every night. Up until now Hermione managed to do it without letting Draco or her dorm mates know. In Hogwarts she would wander to the kitchens and the elves would make her one and she would sit in the empty great all by herself. She doesn't mind it, Hermione likes doing it because it gives her some peace of mind. Even though she admits she is very much sleep deprived.

This time is different though, Hermione can't seem to find peace, hence her not drinking her tea.

"You know the feeling of hating the ending of a book and you can't stop thinking about it and you keep thinking about how it could have ended instead?" Her forehead creasing and avoiding eye contact with him for a second before forcing herself to look into his eyes.

"Did you read a new book recently?" Draco knows he shouldn't be joking but isn't entirely sure either if she was talking about a book or perhaps being philosophical.

Hermione glares at him tiredly. "Screw books. That's not what I meant." She hisses at him and coughs suddenly into her hand and quickly hides her hand from his sight, sighing once the pain ceased in her chest.

Draco never believed to hear those words form her mouth. Hermione worships books and that's when Draco new that the world was ending.

"I know what you meant." Small lie. "But your life is not a book. You are not some character on pages whose fate is set. You can still change it. So you're right. Screw books because it has nothing to do with you." He turns serious and tries to give her his best pep talk. Draco watches her face hoping that he may have given her some confidence, but her face remains impassive. Hermione couldn't help but feel as if his words where helpful and true but at the same time irritating and wrong because it isn't that easy.

Draco notices that she wasn't going to reply and decides to cheer her up in another way.

"They won't notice that we are gone for an hour or so, will they?" Draco exclaims and gently helps Hermione from her high chair.

"What? Where are we going?" Hermione is nervous about leaving the hospital while still being monitored. Draco smiles at her and wraps his arms around her, keeping her in place as he apperates away.

Standing on an empty beach, the only sound they could hear was the waves crashing onto the sand. The froth of the ocean water appear brighter in the moonlight over the water. The water appears darker in the night. Hermione's bare feet feel the cold sand while Draco helps her with her medical equipment. They stay close to the path because of that. Hermione wishes she could take it off and dive into the waves. Wanting to disappear and forget her worries.

Hermione sighs deeply and leans against Draco and he wraps his arms around her, holding her steady. "Thank you." The painful pressure in her chest still there, but for that moment buried in the back of her mind.