Is it real ?

Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist

Hello Guys ! Here Is The Beginning Of The Story. It's Not Very Long, I Hope To Make The Next Ones Longer. This Just Describes The Emotions Wentworth Is Feeling, But The Story Will Evolve In The Next Chapter :)  If You Want To Make Any Suggestions, Don't Hesitate ! Enjoy :)

Today I signed the contract for another season of Prison Break. I'm not sure it's a great idea, but I need something new in my life. Being Michael Scofield once again will certainly help me get better. I have to get better. I don't have a choice if I ever want to be happy. For about 8 years I have suffered of depression and suicidal thoughts. It began a little after the end of the shooting of Prison Break. Of course at the end of every season we all felt a bit emotional, but this time it was different. I would never have the opportunity to shoot with all of them again; it was the end of a chapter and the beginning of another one, but a very darker one. After a few days, when this feeling of loneliness and sadness was supposed to be over, I felt worse. Each day it became worse. I felt like something was missing. A piece of me was gone. Was it Michael Scofield ? Maybe. I didn't know then and I still don't. I thought it would be over quickly, but I was mistaken.

The following year was the worst. I didn't have motivation to do anything, but I forced myself to keep working. I am grateful I did that. Acting makes me feel alive. It's the reason I'm still alive. Anyways, after a lot of pain, sadness and food, I made my coming-out. It was 2013. I hoped by doing so it would relieve a weight on my shoulders, but it did the exact opposite. I was alone-very alone. My family and friends - the few I had left - already knew and supported me, but the media treated me like crap. At the time, I didn't believe I would be happy ever again, which I still believe now. I was alone in a dark circle with no end and I kept falling. My rescuer was food, so I had to train - a lot.

After a while, the media calmed down. I lost weight, but I wasn't feeling any better. I was still alone. I was still falling into that big hole. I gave up acting. I told myself that if I didn't do anything I would end up crazy, so I wrote. It helped me put my emotions into words and express myself.

Two years ago, I began acting again. I knew I was weak, but determined to get better. So I did. I concentrated on the good and never let any negative thought interfere my mind. I did a lot of walks. I took a job with Dominic, my best friend. He helped me through it all. We are real-life brothers.

It's been two years now, and I haven't had a suicidal thoughts since. I have to climb up the hole I fell into, and trust me, it's a long way. Since I felt so bad at the end of Prison Break, why would I do it again ? Well, when it ended I felt empty, maybe I will feel whole when I star in it again. That break was rough, but I got through it. So as you understand it, Prison Break starts again, which means another end of it and - I suppose - another breakdown. Yeah. That's not good. I guess I'll just have to have a little faith. I have to face my fear. I have to find out what the future holds for me.

For now, me and Dominic are the only ones who signed up on the reboot. It reassures me to know that he will be there; he is like a boat when I feel like drowning in my emotions. I owe him a lot, everything I should say. He is one of the most important person  in my life. He is the brother I never had. I hope I'm important to him as well, even if for the past years he has been the one helping. I hope one day I will be able to repay him and be a good friend. If there is a person I'm looking forward to see, it's Sarah. She was my best friend, but we lost touch when Prison Break ended.