I will Survive

Part 2: Aptitude Test

"This is for your own good."
The belt lashes my back, lash after lash, blow after blow, strike after strike.

I grit my teeth and close my eyes. I will not scream. I will not cry. I refuse to give Marcus the satisfaction. I can't help but blame Tobias for this. If he hadn't left for Erudite I would never be in this mess. Well, I probably still would be beat by Marcus anyways, but that's not the point. He left me. He betrayed me.

I know I should feel badly for thinking such a selfish thought, but it's kinda hard to feel bad for someone else when your own father is tearing away your flesh with a belt.

After what seems like hours, Marcus finally wipes off the blood from his belt and loops it back through his belt loops.

He walks out of the room, leaving me hunched over, shaking in a pool of my own blood. Sometimes, I wish I could join my Mother. She died when Tobias was 9. I was only 5. I still remember her. Her delicate hands with long fingers, her hooked nose and straight frowned eyebrows.

No, Olivia. Don't think about her. You're already have enough to think about, with the aptitude tests. Don't bring Mother into this...

I let out a groan in frustration before shakily trying to stand up. I bite down on my lip to keep from yelling. I hobble over to the bathroom and wrap a bandage around the new welts on my back. I clean up the bloody cuts on the back of my legs too. The cuts Marcus made when he missed my back with the belt. The water washing away the blood hurts like hell, but I keep quiet. It's a pride thing.

Grabbing a rag and a bucket of water, I hobble back to my room and begin to clean up the now dried blood on the walls and floors. My blood.

Well, shit. That's not supposed to be there.

I scrub and scrub until my back is figuratively on fire. I wince as I stand up. I put my weight on my desk and limp over to my bed.

I lay on my stomach on the grey blanket because the alternative is just to painful. I don't even bother to put the blanket around me. I sigh as the cool, crisp wind flows through the open window, numbing my wounds.

My mind wanders as I lay in bed. I think of my mother, though I try so hard not to. The thought of her fills my whole body with grief. Grief that makes me vulnerable, and being vulnerable isn't a good option in the Eaton household.

I can feel it. The thought of my mother overwhelming me. Think of something else, anything else! Tobias.

Tobias.... Ugh. I haven't thought of him for a while. I know why he left, but I mean he could've at least talked to me about it! And seriously? Erudite? I don't care what faction I get, there is no way I'm going to transfer to Erudite. I never want to see Tobias again.

That's not true...

I sigh as I shift uncomfortably in my bed. Tomorrow I take my aptitude test. What faction will I get? Abnegation? Candor? Erudite? Amity? Maybe Dauntless?

I close my eyes and drift off into my usual, nightmare filled sleep.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I gasp awake and burst upright in my bed. I immediately wish I didn't. The pain in my back from the sudden movement makes me wanna scream.

I groan as I carefully lay back down in bed. I glance at the clock on the wall. 3:04 AM. I groan again as I close my eyes, remembering what I was dreaming of that made me awake.