Dan and Phil Imagines

Dan: "sorry for your loss"

You and Dan were on your way to the doctors office to have your pregnancy check up. You were so thrilled when you found out you were expecting and simply couldn't wait to have a little mini combination of you and Dan. It was month number four and so your belly was now showing slightly. Sometimes you would catch yourself daydreaming about how life would be with a little one running around the house. Someone who will call you mummy and hearing the word 'daddy' come out of her mouth. You craved being a mother and you could tell Dan was pretty excited about all of this as well. Seeing you happy made him happy and you guessed all your baby happiness rubbed off on him.

Once at the doctor you were sent to a room to have an ultrasound just to see how the baby was coming along. A young nurse stepped into the room and greeted you and Dan happily.
"Well hello, I'm nurse Brookline and I'll be doing your ultrasound today."
She shook Dan's hand and then yours.
"Ok lift your shirt up love." She said in such a sweet voice it made you feel comforting. You did as told and that's when she put the clear gel on your tummy. You got the chills at how cold it was. You never really did get used to the coldness. She then turned the monitor on and moved the remote like object around your belly. You grabbed Dan's hand and he smiled at you reassuringly. That's when you turned your head towards the nurse and saw how her smile dropped. Her lips weren't curved upwards anymore, those cheerful eyes became dull and her eyebrows began to furrow in confusion.

You looked at Dan and that's when he asked worriedly, "is everything alright?"
She gave a silent sigh and stood up, "why don't I go get Doctor Bennet and he'll check this out, okay?"
All you could do was nod and that's when she left the room. All your mind could do was think of all the possible bad things that could happen to your baby. Dan's eyes turned over to you and saw how distressed your looked.
"Hey hey y/n.. It's ok, we'll just wait and see what the doctor says alright. We don't want to jump to conclusions all of a sudden." He held your hand tighter and kissed your lips softly.
The room door opened and Doctor Bennet came in and sat were the nurse originally was seated. He began to check your belly and his face too began to look saddened. He turned the monitor off and spoke up saying, "I'm afraid you've lost your baby Mr and Mrs Howell." You let go of Dan's hand and brought both of your hands to your face, that's when you felt tears streaming down your face like a waterfall. Dan stood up rather angrily, turned around and cried as well. He set his head on the wall with one hand on his eyes.
"I am really sorry for your loss. I'll give you two some time to process all this." And then the doctor left the room without another word. You grabbed the paper towels that were next to you and cleaned the gel off of you. That's when you called Dan.

"Dan..? Dan come here." You told him. You needed someone to hold you close and to keep you warm. You sat up as he walked over to you and hugged you. He held you tight and you held on to him equally. After all that was finished the doctor sent both of you home, he told you to rest and have a goodnights sleep.

The car ride home was silent, at this point all you felt was numbness. You arrived home and went inside, you didn't bother to wait for Dan. You went to your shared room and just laid in bed. Your face was against the mattress, your arms on your sides and your legs dangling off. Your thoughts ran wild, you couldn't help but think this was your fault... The loss of your child was your fault. In reality, it wasn't but why couldn't you stop thinking in such way. You began to think, how can someone so tiny not be given a chance to live? Why did it have to be your baby? Why couldn't you at least see him? Maybe you weren't meant to be a mother. But the question that crossed your mind the most was, why your baby? Why? It's not like you wanted it to be someone else's baby but why yours? Dan walked into the room and sat on the bed. He lifted you up and made you rest your head on his thighs. He combed your hair with his fingers and rubbed your back softly. You looked up at him and saw his eyes. Those once happy bright brown eyes were now dull and full of sadness. You could tell he was crying because his eyes were now puffy and red in colour. As soon as his eyes met yours, you lost it. You began to cry again. You didn't understand how one simple action could inflict so much pain but yet there you were crying your eyes out. He hugged you and embraced you, you let yourself be treated like this. All you felt was weakness and vulnerability.
"We'll get trough this ok y/n" he told you, sounding like a whisper.
All you did was nod. "It's ok." He told you repeatedly, you wanted to believe him, you wanted to feel hope that one day you will get trough this... But when?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I'm sorry this was such a downer but what inspired me to write this was the loss of one of my puppies, he passed away at being only two days old. 😥 😞😔
Thanks for reading, Anne.