Let Me Love You

42

"Ari?" I hear Alexa's voice flow from behind me, "Ariana, it's three in the afternoon" she rubs my back in attempt to wake me. I groan and stretch my legs out, rolling onto my back to face her

"You good?" She asks

"Mhm" I moan and rub my eyes

"You came home early this morning and went back to sleep, you don't usually do that..."

"I know...I'm just tired" I lie

"Ariana" she scolds me

"What? I am" I defend myself

Alexa sighs and lets it go, "Justin has been trying to get ahold of you" she says and hands me my phone. I immediately roll my eyes and take my phone from her, seeing that Justin has sent me a couple snapchats. I decide not to open them, instead I toss my phone on my messy bed and roll back over.

"Okay...why won't you just tell me what's going on?" Alexa sighs and invites herself to get under the sheets with me, laying on her side so that we are face to face. I do not respond, because I do not know how. I refuse to make eye contact with her, I almost feel ashamed of myself, I feel embarrassed, like I was oblivious to Justin's behaviors, like it was obvious but I just couldn't see it.

"Tell me" she pushes, "Please"

"I don't know" I mumble and shrug my shoulders

"That's a lie" she says and lifts my chin to make me look at her. Our eyes connect and the look in her eyes is comforting, she is my best friend, I can tell her. She will not laugh at me. Alexa knows everything about my life, we swore to never keep secrets. She is always there for me and she always supports me. She reaches her hand out and uses her thumb to wipe the single tear that has fallen down my cheek.

"Is it your job?"

I shake my head

"Is it one of your dogs?"

I shake my head

"Is it-" Alexa quickly gasps, "Is it Nonna?"

I shake my head again

"Oh, thank god" she sighs

"It's Justin" I mumble

"Justin?"

I nod

"What'd he do?"

My bedroom gets quiet after she asks the dreaded question. What did he do? He cheated on me. He slept with another girl. He broke my heart.

"You guys are just friends aren't you? Did he get mad because you wouldn't be his girlfriend?"

"I don't know" I slant my lips

"Okay, so tell me what happened"

I forgot that Alexa doesn't know about Justin and I, she never knew that we were lowkey dating

"A couple months ago, when I was at Justin's house, we were talking in the pool" I explain softly, trying my hardest not to look at her as she listens intently, "We were kissing-"

I get interrupted by Alexa's light gasp, "I'm so sorry, keep going" she apologizes and covers her mouth

"And we were kissing a lot, he was kissing my neck and my chest, but I stopped him because I didn't want to be his girlfriend. He asked me what I wanted from him, and long story short, he and I began to try to date"

"That's why you're crying? Because you're dating Justin?" Alexa asks me curiously with narrowed eyes

I shake my head and pull the sheets over my shoulder, Alexa does the same