The Bucket List (Kellic)

2. Eat the Fruit, It's Good For You

I woke up the next morning and took my medication as soon as I opened my eyes. My head was pounding and it felt like I was going to start coughing any minute. I raised my arms and breathed in and out steadily, wincing at the slight pain in my chest. I put my hand on my face and notice my oxygen tubes fell out over night. 

I groaned and ran my hand through my bed, trying to find the damn thing. Believe it or not, I sometimes I don't realize I don't have it on sometimes. 

Eventually I found it, sliding it to it's rightful spot on my face. I felt slightly better now that I was able to breath better. I went to run my fingers through my hair until I remembered I shaved it all off yesterday. 

"Why do I have to be sick." I whisper to myself, feeling shitty all over again. I wanted to break down and cry and end everything before it got worse but I couldn't. I would hurt to many people. But that didn't stop the few tears that trickled down my face. 

I got off my bed and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower. And by quick, I meant under five minutes because it wasn't good for me to be in there for a long time. Though, that didn't stop me. Sometimes I just needed the burning hot water beating down my back to remind myself that I am indeed still alive because sometimes, I felt like I wasn't real. 

This disease would get to me so bad that I would feel like I was already dead. I was numb. That's how I felt today.

On days like these, I put up my temporary wall. It happened only once every couple months. All my friends understand what's going on, so I send them a quick text in our group chat, which I added Mike and Vic to last night.

Off day. Putting the walls up.

I send quickly before brushing my teeth and putting a beanie on to cover my hairless head. I look at my phone again once I'm done.

Bliss: Love you Kell <3

Justin: Hope you feel better.

Vic: What? 

Dakota: Vic, he's having a bad day. Feeling shitty and doesn't want to talk to anyone. So he puts his walls up, stays away from people, and does his school work in his mom's office.

That was the last text I saw before my mom was calling me, saying we need to leave. I leave my room and head out the door with her following behind me. She tries to talk to me but I shake my head and look out the window. 

"I'll email your teachers when we get to the school." She says, knowing what was happening. I nod and thanks and continue staring out the window, watching all the other cars fly past. 

I sometimes wonder what it's like to get hit by a speeding car. Would I die instantly? Suffer in pain then die at the hospital? Would I black out and wake up feeling perfectly fine?

I sigh and shake the thoughts from my head. It's not healthy for me to think about that. Or anyone for that matter.

My mom pulls into her parking spot and turns the car off. I'm about to get out when she grabs my wrist, stopping me. I look at my wrist then up at her.

"I love you, okay? And so do all you friends." She reminds me. I send her a small smile and she lets go of my wrist. 

I slowly make my way to the office behind my mom. When we get to her office, I throw myself onto the couch and breath out slowly. This was going to be a long day.

Throughout the day, I had students bring me the class work we did even though I was excused from doing it. 

I heard a knock and look up to see Vic and Dakota standing there with what looked like a bag of fruit or something. I motion for them to come in and they do. Dakota crouches down in front of me while Vic lifts my legs up, sits down, and rests my legs over his.