The Bucket List (Kellic)

20. Bad Night

-two weeks later-

"I'll be there to pick you up in about two hours. Just dress casual." Vic says through the phone.

"Alright. Are you going to tell me what we're doing or no?" I ask him. 

"I mean, if you really want to know but I think you can wait." He tells me.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I say.

"I know. Now, go get ready. I'll see you later." He says.

"Okay, I love you." I tell him.

"I know." He says then hangs up. 

Since what happened last week, Vic hasn't told me he loved me. I don't know why but it is slowly tearing me apart inside. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if he were to be questioning our relationship. I mean, I wouldn't necessarily want to be with some who may not make it to the legal age to drink.

I know I'm being a little over-dramatic, but I can't help but feel insecure about this. Vic is my first everything; first boyfriend, first kiss, first time, and first love. It would definitely be hard if he left me. 

I sigh and stand up, deciding I should probably start getting ready. I pick out some clothes to wear then head to my bathroom to take a quick shower. And by quick, I mean about twenty minutes. 

My outfit consists of blue skinny jeans, a plain, red v-neck shirt, grey Toms, and a black beanie. 

By the time I finished getting dressed, I still had an hour and a half left before he was going to be here so I decided to put in a random CD to pass the time. 

I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything important. Mostly about the fact that I'm graduating in like two weeks. 

It feels so surreal. High school was one of the best but worst chapters of my life. I made amazing friends but I also got diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and it's killing me faster than I thought it would. 

I'm also quite terrified to die. I haven't seen all the things that I want to see yet or do some things that I've always wanted to do. 

Before I knew it, I heard a car horn from outside, pulling me from my thoughts. I climb out of my bed, grab my phone, then rush out of the house and into Vic's car. 

"Hey." He says, leaning over the center console to peck my lips.

"Hi." I say back with a small smile, feeling all the once doubts leave my mind. For now, at least. "What do you have planned for us tonight?" I asks him as he begins to drive away from my house.

"Well, since it's finally nice out again, I'm taking you on a romantic boat ride." He tells me as I nod in understanding, focusing my attention on the passing houses. 

The drive to this place wasn't very long. Maybe twenty minutes at the most. It was a boring drive, if you ask me. It was silent almost the entire time and Vic didn't have the radio on. It almost felt awkward.

Pulling up to the small dock, I got really excited. There was a small boat that almost resembled a canoe but smaller and a bit wider tied up to a pole.

Vic parked his car right in front of the dock and we both got out of the car. As we got into the boat, Vic took my tank while I carefully stepped in, trying not to fall. 

Thankfully, I didn't fall and now we're slowly wading down the small river. I wasn't really paying much attention to where we were going though. My gaze was locked onto the the water, slowly wading into the moving boat.

"Hey," Vic says, snapping me from my thoughts. I look up to meet his gaze which was surprisingly full of concern, "Are you alright? You seem a bit off today."

"Why won't you tell me you love me anymore?" I blurt out without really thinking it through. His face went from concerned to shock then to sadness.

"You think I don't love you." He whispers in realization. I slowly nod my head, deciding it's best not to lie to him. "Kells, no. I love you so much, but-" He sighs deeply then continues, "But I thought that if I forced myself to stop loving you, everything wouldn't hurt as much as it already does." 

I honestly felt like I was going to cry. He was trying to stop loving me? Why would he do that to me? 

"So, you wanted to hurt me so that you wouldn't get hurt?" I ask him in disbelief. 

"It sounded like a great idea in my head but now I realize I'm a fucking idiot." He tells me.

"Damn right you are." I scoff, rolling my eyes at him. 

"I'm sorry, Kells." He says.

"Honestly, I can't really believe you right now. Please, take me back home." I tell him. 

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" He asks, his voice cracking a little at the end.

"No, I'm not. I just don't want to be around you right now." I say a little harsher than I wanted to. 

"Okay." He sighs, turning the boat around and rowing it back to the dock. 

The drive back to my house was definitely more awkward than the way there. All I wanted to do was go home, take a hot shower, and go to bed. 

As Vic pulled into my driveway, I wanted to jump out and run but he grabbed my wrist, stopping me. 

"I am really am sorry." He states, looking distraught. I sigh and turn to look at him.

"I-I don't know, Vic. I love you but please don't try to contact me for a few days. I need space." I tell him.

"Okay, okay. I can respect that." He says, sounding really upset even though this is kind of his fault but whatever.

"Bye, Vic." I say before getting out of his car and walking into my house. 

I ignored my mom's comments about the date and locked myself in my room. Looking out my window, I noticed Vic's car was still in front of my house but soon started to pull away. I watched him go as far as my window would let me see.

---

Wow, this is so fucking short and I am so bad with updating anymore. This story kind of difficult for me to write this story but I'm trying. 

I'm trying not to rush the ending but this is kind of going to end kind of soon. Maybe.