Discover the odds

Chapter 10

Everyone is in black, I don't understand. There're a lot of people I don't know but they're in our home and some of them are crying. They all come and smile in my face rubbing my shoulders tenderly.

" Nicole you'll eventually have to find a reasonable explanation for her, she deserves one, she's not stupid, children observe everything", a lady in a black dress and white shawls says. She's speaking in a hushed and soft tone as if she's telling a secret.

My mother nods and held her head down sadly, she walks the lady to the door and closes it after saying her final goodbye.
Everyone leaves. They hug me and smile at me, their stuffy cologne has started to affect my sinuous. My mother walks slowly towards me then stoops at the small cushioned chair in our living room as I swing my feet and play with the hem of my pleats.

She looks at me. She's sad. She wants to share the secret with me that the lady in the shawl just told her, but I don't want to hear because I know I'll be sad like she is right now.

"Kalie, I need to tell you something", I look at her and her eyes are red like the way roses are, it's almost dripping like the way vapor drips off roses early in the morning," your father isn't with us anymore. He's dead honey"

What, Daddy can't be dead, he was here yesterday laughing with me in the kitchen, she's lying!!

"No mommy your lying !! You said not to lie then why are you lying to me now?"

"No I'm not Kalie, I promise. Come here"
She picks me up and walks me towards the church we were in with all the people crying really loud. There's a shiny box with lots and lots of flowers on top and mommy leads us towards it. Mommy would never lie to me , daddy would be upset with her.
I'm too small to see in the big shiny box so mommy lifts me high.
It's daddy. He's sleeping. He doesn't look like my daddy, he's not moving and laughing like he usually is, he's not even snoring, he's still as a rock. The warm tears slowly begin to fall to my cheeks and I know I'm crying, my mommy uses her hand to wipe my tears away.

"I'm sorry honey, he's gone ", she says. But I don't understand what she means. She puts me down and closed the shiny box.

"Where is he going, mommy? Why isn't he not sleeping in his bed at home ?"

She sighs and starts to walk pulling me from daddy.

"When your older you'll understand better Kalie"

But I don't want to understand when I'm older, I want to understand now, I want to wake daddy and tell him to come home and sleep in his bed at home. I don't to understand when I'm older!!!
I grab my hands from mommy's and run towards daddy.

"Daddy!!! Wake up!!! ", I shout but he doesn't hear me, mommy has lift me up and is carrying me from him. I'm crying and crying and screaming because the shiny box is getting further and further and I know daddy will never wake now.

.........

I gasp as my lungs struggle to contain the rapid intake of air rushing towards them. I had that nightmare again, the one I use to have when I was younger. I use to hate it, I still hate it, because my father isn't freaking dead, he's just hiding somewhere far from here pretending I don't exist choosing not to be in my life. I hate it, apart of me wish he was dead, I think that's why I keep having this stupid dream.
There's a thick sheet wrapped around me and it has kept me really warm, I just want to go back to sleep and snuggle back into it. But I can't. There's a lot to do and I can't waste any time, well I shouldn't really. I quickly remove the sheet from my legs to see my pink pj's . Ha PJs. Why am I smiling? Because it sounds like bjs! God, I'm weird, I think I fell asleep on the couch last night while Steph and I watched Vampire Diaries and she covered me. Shit!! She has classes today, I wanted to see her before she left. I sighed and rub my hands over my face. My eyes. I think they're shrinking a little, I quickly rush to my bathroom to look at them. The swellings are still prominent, I use my fingers to press at my left upper eyelid which kinda hurts so I use my fingers to massage them a little. I just want to stuff all those pills down my throat and hurry and get these swelling off my face, but I won't. I turn the tap on and use my hands to flash the cold water on my face. I feel a little more awaken but it still isn't as effective as I'd like it to be. I need to plan out what I'm doing today and start keeping a schedule, I keep forgetting things. I'm making my way to our kitchen, I haven't been in here as often as I'd like to be or as I thought I would be and I want to change that. The ceramic and marble countertops and cupboards are sparkle clean and I smile to my self because I know that this is going to change very soon. There's a few pans, cup, plates, and pots in the cupboards from when Steph shopped and our fridge is still stuffed with grocery considering we haven't been here long. There's a small colored paper stuck to the freezer by tape and it has Steph's handwriting.