Discover the odds

Chapter 14

Dear Diary,
I hate how you can plan things accordingly and it falls dramatically out of place with the space of no time, and I hate how time never stops for you to pick up the pieces; it just forces you to carry on like a clock. It's unfair. Everything that I've planned since my departure has just been uprooted and I don't know how to progress. I missed my first day of college and almost a week of it, because my allergies acted up and I met this guy. Not saying his name; he's not ready for a title here yet. I like him, well I think I like him, I don't know; I never know and I hate how I never know exactly what I should know. He likes me too well that's what he says but he wants me to let go of everything I've built and just let myself be; be with him. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that; everyone says that I need to stop isolating myself from people but it's not that easy and I feel sooo conflicted and it's all aggravating. Stephan found a guy, he's ok I guess, he's a friend of the guy I like. I'm starting school as soon as possible I hate sitting around not doing anything; well except when I'm at work. Everyone is trying to help in adjusting to this new environment, Florida is everything I had expected really, except I don't really know anyone or anywhere and Stephan and I keep fighting. Things between my mother and I are basically the same and I wished she would just change, maybe that's wrong with this world, we keep waiting for people to change instead of just accepting things the way they are. She still thinks I'm a child and it's just so tragic because I'm not, in high school I used to hate her for how miserable she made my life but maturity transformed that into one thing: sympathy. I hope one day she can find joy and stop being so bitter but right now I just need her to leave me be so I can find my joy. I had back that stupid dream about my father dying and it' creeps me out. Everyone still thinks I'm this fragile glass that's going to break everytime they mention Chad but truth be told, I'm over it I'm over him that is. My mom is right though, I need to get my shit together.

-Kalie

I gulp and bite my lips then unfold them as I remember Jake was just biting on them not too long ago. I look up at Matthew and he's fuming like a freaking gas leakage. Jake who is oblivious to the whole situation seems unphased and is now straightening himself to greet Matthew. Oh lord. Stephan ginger red hair comes in sight and I'm so happy to see her now.
"Oh hello, I didn't know that you were with someone, would you like to come in we're having dinner?"
Matthew says no the same time Jake says yes and you can basically feel the tension in the air; it's palpable even Steph seems to figure this. Both guys are having this weird stare off when it hits me like a freaking sledgehammer!! Matthew is jealous!!! Yeppie!!! Why didn't I think about this before? How dare he acts all jealous when just a couple of days ago he admitted nonchalantly that he was fucking buttcheek!!!! He didn't think about how I was feeling? Then another sledgehammer hit me! Gosh, I'm feeling hazy already; I have this situation completely in my hands now, Jake is my "buttcheek" and it's like he says" he has no obligation towards me and neither do I" yet here he is fuming just 'cause he caught me kissing someone else. Ha!
I hold Jake's hand securely and look Matthew straight in the eye,"This is my apartment, and if I want to invite someone in your in no position to tell me not to."

"Whatever .", he murmurs looking at me.

"What's his problem ?", Jake asks.

"He's going through a phase because he's recently finding himself attractive to guys.", I state throwing daggers in Matthew's direction.
Jake chokes a little from realization then looks into his direction and quickly avert his eyes.

James is sitting on the sofa watching ... Legally Blonde? I must be seeing wrong then I realized Stephan probably bribed him into watching it with her. He smiles acknowledging me and I return his smile waving at him as I head to my room; I need to pee .
I walk to my room then use the bathroom releasing my fluid which is obviously excited to get out and the minute I push the door open Matthew is standing there.
What .
The.
Actual.
Fuck.
And that's exactly what I said. I just jumped out of my skin! Why do people keep creeping up on me!! He's hovering over me all impassively giving me the stare you usually get from your parents when you steal a cookie and their expecting you to confess the crime of your life.
"Who's that guy?", he asks not even moving so that I can have back my "personal space " even though I don't mind sharing his.