Hoseok was wide awake that night. His head was pounding, and the quiet tick of his wall clock wasn't helping whatsoever. The darkness he was laying in took a toll on him, because soon he started to cry. Not on purpose, he just realized he was crying after digging too deep into his thoughts.
The most important question swimming through his mind was, 'does Jungkook really want to love me?'
He knew he was being ridiculous. He knew it was an irrational thought, and that of course Jungkook wanted to love him.
He just couldn't stop the question from floating around.
He sat up on the mattress. He needed clarification from Jungkook himself. He needed it. He picked his phone up, dialing the number as fast as his fingers would let him. He let out a shaky breath as it rang, licking his lips repeatedly.
It would be over with soon, and of course Jungkook would say the 3-word 8-letter 1-meaning sentence. He will, he assured himself.
The other male finally picked up, his groggy voice showing obvious signs of previous sleep.
"Hoseok, it's past midnight. What do you want from me?" He heard Jungkook ask.
"Jungkook.."
"What?"
"Do you love me?"
"Hyung.."
"Do you?"
"Of course I do, Hoseok. I couldn't imagine not loving you. Why do you ask?"
"It's just.."
There was a long pause.
"You don't want to tell your parents about me. And, of course I understand that you think you'll be disowned by them if you come out-"
"Hoseok."
"-but it's been making me really anxious and stuff. I really hate the feeling of having to lie to your parents-"
"Hoseok."
"-about being your boyfriend and all but please just hear me out-"
"Hoseok!"
"Uh..Yeah?"
"The reason I don't want to tell them is not because I don't love you. I love you with all my heart. It's because last time I told someone I like people of the same gender.. They kinda beat me up? It was before I dropped out of school. I am really just afraid that they will do the same, but verbally, you know?"
"..oh.."
"Yeah."
"Well.. Sorry for waking you, then.." Hoseok internally cringed. He practically made a fool of himself, in front of the person he really, really liked. Not like it mattered, Jungkook didn't even care. But he did.
Awkward.
*
