Baby Mama- JCole (Under Construction)

28- For her sake

Kai Demoney May 31, 2015 12:15 am Home

I'm sitting back against Jay's chest, on the brim of falling asleep. The fact that he is rubbing continuous slow circles on my belly is not helping me stay awake. I can't help, but fall comfortably into his arms.

"You know.... It's been a few crazy months for us." He states.

"It has." I reply. Quietly acknowledging what horrible acts I committed earlier this year. I literally killed a woman and it's on my record. I'm still not able to actually move past it. I wonder if Jay is? Our name is still in the papers, and on every article online. Fans still bash me, especially the ones that loved Danny. We are in the public eye more than anyone else. Thank God Jay was able to protect the address of our residence. If not we would have to move. "Do you think we'll ever be able to move past this? Will Leilani have a future at all?"

I ask while unintentionally rubbing the scar on my arm. "If it's up to me she will." He answers with something I expected him to say.

"It's good to know she has you for a father because lord only knows what traits she will carry from me." I mumble. "Hopefully none."

"I hope she'll have your beauty." He comments.
I know he knows exactly what I'm thinking about and right now he's trying to divert my attention from it.

"I'm sure she's going to be so gorgeous." I mumble.

"Mhm." For a moment we just sit silently. Of course my thoughts are consuming me as of now. I can't help but to think where we would all be if Danny was still alive. If Jay hadn't brought up her hoeish ways. Or if Mally and I had just left and didn't come back to the house while they were arguing.

I look up at Jay who has this blank expression on his face. I can tell he's thinking about the same thing as me. Which causes me to wonder. Are we doing the right thing by being together? Is there even a future for us?

"Jay where do you see us five years from now?" I ask. His attention shifts down towards me, where he gives a look of confusion.

"I see us taking Lei to school. While you carrying my son, and holding our two year old daughter's hand-"

"Whoa. Hold up. You trying to have two more kids within a five year span? That requires me to be pregnant back to back."

"Exactly."

"Selfish." I mumble.

"Nah, I just want my kids to grow up together."

"Okay so why don't we just hire a surrogate." I joke.

"No need when we got an oven that works perfectly fine right here." He states while tapping my belly. "And it has the ability to create multiple babies at once. Fuck around and have 4 babies in a five year span." That was my cue to get up.

"Okay see no." I mumble. "That's definitely not going to happen."

"If you think so."

"No I know so. I am not going to be the little lady in the shoe. Besides, I want to be married before I have anymore kids."

"Who said we weren't going to be married?"

"You want to marry me?" 

He nods. "Yea not right now, maybe a year of two from now."

Looking into his eyes I can see how sincere he is. I don't know why, but I think I'm scared of his sincerity. Am I even worthy of becoming his wife?

"Oh." Is all I say because it's all I can get out.

He chuckles and pulls me back into his arms. "You don't sound like you want to marry me ma."