I'll Be Your Strength

Part 15

Jay couldn’t stand to watch Amy struggle from all the pain and discomfort inflicted on her any longer so he made a swift exit to the hallway where he took a seat with his face in his hands, tears pouring. He couldn’t believe that someone could be so abusive just for their own pleasure. He felt like killing George for what he had put Amy through for such a long time. He forced his hands into fists, his fingernails cutting through his skin as he attempted to overcome this regretful thought. He couldn’t kill him. If he did then he would be put down for murder and then a relationship with Amy would be further out of reach.

This was the dilemma Jay was contemplating when the rest of The Wanted and Milly and Kate walked out of the room to join him. Kate and Milly’s faces showed evidence of tears and pain while they were being comforted by Nathan and Tom. The guilt began to rip through Jay’s body and his heart sunk further as he watched them help their girlfriends thinking about how he should be reassuring Amy but he couldn’t. He felt helpless in the improvement of Amy’s condition.  “How are you coping there mate? We were told to come out and give her some space for a while” said Max in a hushed voice as to not leak out Jay’s secret feelings for Amy.

“Crap if I’m honest, I just feel so helpless. Watching Nath and Tom comfort Milly and Kate just makes me feel guilty. I mean I should be in there comforting Amy, telling her it will be alright, but that’ll just make it worse! What am I going to do?” spluttered Jay in reply, forcing the words out one by one. He was beginning to get to the point where he didn’t know what to do with himself and couldn’t sit still. One minute he would be sat down and the next pacing up and down the corridor.

“If I were you I would go in there now, while she is on her own and tell her how you feel. For all you know she could be thinking of you right now and how you don’t seem to care about her because you left the room” advised Max, grabbing Jay’s arm to stop him from pacing any longer “Mate STOP! You are making me sick!”

"Oh sorry…do you think I should?” Enquired Jay who had now stood still and staring at the door in which determined his future if he entered. Was he willing to take the risks of disappointment if he revealed his secrets to Amy? This was the question he has to consider.

“Well I would, she deserves to know! By you holding these secrets inside and not telling anyone isn’t going to get you anywhere. Just take the risk! If you think about it if you don’t tell her you don’t get her and if she doesn’t want to date you well you wouldn’t have got her if you hadn’t told you anyway. But I think she does like you anyway, so go and tell her!” Lectured Max pushing Jay towards the door.

Jay took hold of the golden door handle before pausing to look back towards Max who was signalling for him to go in, with a smile on his face for encouragement. Finally after much thought and a much exhaling he pushed the door and entered the silent fresh smelling room.| He was surprised to find Amy had finally been able to get up and sit on the edge of the bed. He took a sigh of relief and slowly made his way towards her, one step at a time as to not scare her. Amy had now acknowledged Jay’s presence and began to raise her head to look at him but avoiding eye contact. She desperately wanted to telepathically leak everything that had happened to her in the past into his mind, to inform him about it without taking a beating for telling someone from George. She was forced and threatened to keep everything a secret. She was constantly told “If you tell anyone then you are going to suffer so badly, death could be in the near future for you!” This same line replayed repeatedly through her mind every day and it never ceased. Suddenly before she knew it she found her legs had taken a life of their own and she had leapt from the bed and ran into Jay for a cuddle. Desperation for human interaction with someone who cares for her had taken hold of her body and the tears began to pour. Jay placed his arms around her and held her very close, rubbing her back to calm her of the pain that was showing so clearly through the damaged and bruised outer shell.

“It’s okay Amy, shhh…” Calmly whispered Jay as he attempted to stop her crying. He buried his head into her shoulders and wiped each tear from her cheeks as they fell from her bloodshot blue eyes. Whispering the same calming line in her ear and stroking her hair as he held her in his strong grasp. Cherishing this moment forever. Not letting her go.

He had successfully got Amy to sit down on the edge of the uncomfortable hospital bed keeping his arm placed around at all times as she seemed more relaxed when he did. He did at one point remove his arm to move the cables that were sprawled across the bed like vines so that she could sit down and she automatically hunched up her shoulders. Jay knew this change in posture very well. She did it when she felt uncomfortable, vulnerable and exposed. So he kept his arm there.

The silence in the room was becoming unbearable until suddenly Amy began to speak in a very croaky and shaky voice, startling Jay. “It means so much that you are here Jay…really it does!” She said this while staring down at her hands, playing with the blue band that had been placed around her wrist when she arrived.

“No problem. I wasn’t just going to leave you to suffer like that; I was in as much pain as you just watching you” He replied replaying in his mind the sight of Amy suffering and screaming and shuddered trying to shake off these memories. Amy’s continued to look down at her hands, unable to look directly into his eyes and surprisingly began to laugh. But it wasn’t a humorous laugh it was more of a patronising snigger that came before a sarcastic comment. Jay could see it coming and a confused look blanketed his face.

“I doubt that…” was all she said.

“What is that meant to mean?” Enquired Jay, attempting to stay calm and not allow the anger to possess him like before for Amy’s sake. The silence suddenly dawned on the room again and they just sat there, Jay’s arm still wrapped around Amy’s shoulders and staring at the paper white walls and Amy playing with her hospital band. No one spoke.