Falling Walls (III)

Chapter 27

Eva Thymann? What is she doing here? My head was spinning, hands shaking and the lump in my throat was swelling by the second. I felt like I was going insane. What else would life throw at me? I told myself to calm down. What could she possibly want? Maybe she read one of the articles and is annoyed with negative publicity when Tom left her session? What is everyone in the office going to think seeing her here after probably reading about our evening at the library?
I hadn't been able to place Mrs Ludwig's tone. Did she sound suspicious? For the first time I allowed the thought that people might think I pushed Tom away, maybe even that I took advantage of him and somehow made him leave, being the money-hungry bitch some people thought from the beginning I was. But then again, I didn't really care what anyone thought. My concern was with Tom. What if something has happened to him?

"Please send her in, Mrs Ludwig." I felt a terrible hollow pain deep in my stomach as the words left my lips, convinced I should send her away. Talking to Eva Thymann would only make me feel more awful, deceitful and guilty. But if this woman was giving me the shits about improper behaviour or something like that, then bring it on. I would happily let out every bit of my frustration on her. After all, this drama was all because of her.

In well fitting jeans, her lipstick matching the burgundy blouse and flats she was wearing, Eva strode into the office, looking like one of those middle-aged woman I had always envied. Toned figure, perfect hair and confidence. At a closer look though the wrinkles around her eyes became more dominant and I wondered if it was just the natural course of life or if it was years of worrying, sleepless nights and crying over her lost child.

"What can I do for you, Mrs Thymann?" The business-like tone and choice of words I had used surprised me the minute they left my lips, and I regretted them immediately. They were the words spoken by someone who thought themselves more superior. I don't know why I chose them. It's so nice to see you again, What a lovely surprise. Those greetings were more like me. Eva must have noticed, her expression changing into a more vary one. The smile on her lips stayed in place, but the way her eyes focused in on me changed.

A deep breath escaped her as her eyes moved across the room before zooming in on me again. "I was happy to see you at the library: You and Mr Mayer." Her words were barley a whisper.

"Thank you!" Again, the words sounded harsher, more clipped, than I intended and I began feeling compassion for her. I was dwelling on a broken heart because the man I loved was angry with me and most likely he was just keeping his distance, while this woman had devoted her life to finding her child, and helping others in similar situations. Maybe she had the same idea as me and wants to talk about a partnership or funding? So I added an apology, softening my earlier spoken words. "I'm sorry, Mrs Thymann. It's been a stressful morning. And I'm also sorry for just storming out of your session. Things just..."

"There is no need to apologise. I was just, em, just coming by to, well, may I ask what brought you there, to the library, my session?"

What had brought me there? The thought that the love of my life, who has left me, standing in the dark on the kerbside, could be your missing son? That he would recognise you, or you him? The ridiculous idea that attending your session would somehow be a closure for my fiance, if I was still allowed to call him that. "I was curious, and looking into the possibility of a collaboration between the projects you are supporting and our Social Responsibility Unit."

"Right. Of course you were. Em, are you still considering to support us?" So this is why she came by. Eva looked nervously from her feet to my face back to her feet, and I realised that I hadn't even offered her to take a seat. Since the meeting would be over soon, I abstained from doing so now.

"Sure. We're still considering it. I'll be discussing it with Tom in the next few days." I became better and better at this lying thing. This woman had seen Tom leave in a taxi, being a mess. She had tried to console me, telling me to stay positive, and here I pretended all was perfect.

"Can I leave my business card with you?" Eva opened her purse to retrieve a card with her business details on it, offering it to me. "Mr Mayer wouldn't be in today and willing to see me?" I could tell it had cost her a lot of strength to ask this question. None of the confident woman from the library seemed left in her.

"I'm sorry, but he won't be in today. I can help you with everything."

Eva didn't respond, only silently shook her head.

"I'll be in touch." I shook her hand while Eva mumbled a thank you before turning and walking towards the door.

"Mrs Thymann?" At my call after her, Eva turned, looking at me with big, waiting eyes. "I have been wondering, how did you know my name?"

As in slow motion, Eva swallowed hard. Her confident mask moved back in place. Loud and clearly, holding my gaze steadily, she answered: "I know everything about you."