Super Rich Kids (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 26: Two of US

I remember what my my life was like before everything took a turn for the worse. I remember unweighted laughs, natural smiles and sun-kissed emotions. I remember the child-like innocence that surrounded me, shielding me from harsh realities that eventually tore through my safety and dragged me through life.

My childhood is precious to me. Looking back, it seems so dull and brittle compared to the lives of other children. But to me, in those moments, I was every kind of happy and content. I had everything I ever wanted and needed.

I was surrounded by endless toys and I had a sibling to play with. I never considered that I didn't have friends, never thought it was abnormal to be so secluded. I was a child. I was blind, naive and I was so irrevocably happy.

It was inevitable that that would change.

It is always expected, as you grow older you lose your innocence and everything that makes living pure. But I didn't just lose that, I was stripped from happiness so quickly that I never even realized I was developing a problem.

A problem that would stay with me for the rest of my life, like an incurable disease. And like any other disease, you learn to live with it. You become accustomed to it and that's exactly what I did.

I've learned to hang on to the things that make me irrevocably happy and drop everything that brings me any kind of sadness. I know my own triggers, I know who to avoid, and what kind of people I need to surround myself with. I can't predict when I'll have an off day, but in times that I do, I know who I should avoid, who I should talk to and where I should be.

With that in mind, I can fairly scold myself for my own actions as of recent. I can find ways to place blame on myself and I can comfort myself knowing exactly where I went wrong.

I haven't done a good job at hanging on to the people that make me happy. I let them slip through my fingers, walk out of my life, and push me away, and I kept pushing in return.

It wasn't smart of me to do so. It was a defense mechanism that I let take control over my actions. And now with harsh realities in my heart and the image of a hurting artist plastered to my brain, I know I have to fix everything that I let get too out of hand.

****

It was predetermined that Devin would pick me up from the airport, that we would drive to the hospital together. By the time I had exited the airport, I was a bundle of nerves, drunk on anxiousness and stressful thoughts.

Upon getting into the car with Devin, there was no question that he had a lot to say to me. He looked tired, upset and anxious but unwilling to push me into speaking. Mustering up whatever bit of confidence I had hidden deep within me, I chose to speak first. "I knew", was all I managed to push out.

"You... you knew? Knew what, exactly?" He gripped the steering wheel, he understood what I meant, this is only him needing confirmation. Confirmation so he has a valid reason to get upset with me and chew me out for not saying anything before shit got so out of hand.

"I knew about Abel's drug problem... I've known for months." I mumbled, but it was enough because he did get upset. He made a sharp right turn that had me grasping the door handle tightly. I watched his fingers flex over the wheel, clenching and unclenching.

"You knew.... And you chose not to say anything?" He snapped, because this is a serious situation, and Abel and I never treated it as such. We chose to play house, chose to be ignorant just as my parents had done with me. They ignored the problem until it escalated and I almost killed myself. Here I am in there place, feeling lost and confused because I thought I had it all under control.