Only You

Chapter 18: Part of Me

I feel so angry, I can tell my ears, cheeks and practically my entire face is hot and red. I don't know how can both of them have the nerve to come to me for explanations, they acted as if they were a pair of innocent people and I was being the bad guy, I can't believe it. At the end, I see they deserve each other. I'm glad I saw this before I got more into him.

"Sorry for what just happened." I say to Caleb. He must think I'm a troublemaker.

"Don't need to apologize, it's not your fault." He says. Finally someone on my side.

"Thanks." I say and try to smile.

"No problem." He says, "I'll see you later, got to go to class." He says, "And relax, don't stress about everything." He kindly advises and gives me a be strong smile.

Caleb is a great friend but right now I need my girlfriends, I want to tell them everything. I need to let everything go and then forget about it. Liam and Jade are my past, I'll get over it, I have to.

My history class is about to start and Stella and Scarlett aren't here yet, they'll probably be late as usual. I take out my notebook and a pen and start to draw a heart at the top of the page, I love hearts. Seconds later I'm writing words, lots and lots of words, I don't know what I am exactly writing, but my hand feels as if it was an independent part from my body, as if it had its own brain.

The bell rings and my hand stops. I move, resting my body on the back of the chair, and I see the entire sheet loaded of words. I have so many feelings inside of me and I needed to get them out, I should've used my journal app but this wasn't planned, it just came out from me so naturally, and I feel better but I still have a sad feeling running through my body.

I feel all the adrenaline running through me, I think I let all my feelings and thoughts go in this notebook. My heart is pumping so fast and I actually feel disappointed. I can't believe I wrote all of this is a matter of minutes, I want to hug my heart so hard, I want to tell it that everything will be fine, that I'll do better without him and even though my whole life will be better, it won't be that easy to forget him, he was my first real crush and I can't forget him from one day to another, it may take days, weeks or even months, but at the end, I'll move on.

I turn to the door, and wait for my friends to come in. I see several people entering but they aren't any of them. Why do they always take so long? I try so hard to be punctual on everything and sometimes they walk as slow as a turtle, like if they had all the time in the world, and what surprises me is that almost all our teachers let them in even though the class had started twenty minutes ago.

I keep my sight at the door and I only see my professor. He moves to the board and starts writing some stuff before closing the door.

I see Liam coming in and he stares at me. I don't smile, don't look away, I'm just looking directly into his eyes. I'm actually not thinking of something negative or feeling butterflies on my stomach, I'm only looking at him. I don't quite know why but I don't feel like moving me eyes, and I don't know if he feels uncomfortable because he doesn't remove the eye contact either.

"Mr. Harries are you going to come in today?" The professor sarcastically asks him.

"Yeah." He says and my friends come in behind him, smiling at the teacher.

"Now that everyone's here, let's start." He says and hands us some sheets with a lecture of World War II. I feel Liam taking the seat behind me, as he usually does, but this time is different, I don't feel the necessity of talking to him or asking him anything just to hear his voice, he's just one of my many classmates, he has always been one.

Scarlett smiles at me from some seats far from me and Stella is beside her but she doesn't turn to look at me, it seems as if she was putting attention to the teacher, really rare from her.