Fire enters the scene, a baseball bat strapped onto his back. Shard follows after him, noticeably irritated. Before they follow out with their plans, the red wolf has to break the fourth wall.
Fire : Hello, everyone! Today I'm going to be showing you how to properly kill the alph-
Shard : *whacks Fire with a stick*
Fire : What was that for?!?!
Shard : Keep your mouth shut! They'll hear us!
Fire : Don't be an idiot, Shard. We're breaking the fourth wall, nobody can hear us.
Sunny : I like beans
Shard : Look! Sunny heard!
Sunny : Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you t-
Fire : ENOUGH! I'm supposed to be killing him, remember! Lets get down to business. *climbs tree*
Shard : This idea is stupid. *climbs tree as well*
Fire : Your mom's a stupid idea.
Shard : Rude.
Fire : Whatever, it's time to start fixing the trap. *makes the trap*
Shard : Since Fire obviously isn't going to explain what the tra-
Fire : I was just getting to that! Jeez!
Shard : *rolls eyes*
Fire : Like I was ABOUT to say, before being rudely interrupted, was-
Shard : Bark.
Fire : *glares* We tied the baseball bat to a rope, which we tied against this slanted branch. Once I let go of this string, it will hit the unsuspecting victim and knock them out cold!
Shard : You see, Fire, you have it all wrong. The physi-
Fire : Wow, we do an awful lot of interrupting. And this is a spoof, nobody cares about the physics. Now, REVEAL THE BEANS!
Shard : Technically, wolves shouldn't have canned beans.
Fire : REVEAL THE BEANS!
Shard : No.
Fire : Stop making it so anti-climactic! REVEAL. THE. BEANS!
Shard : *rolls eyes and pulls away sheet to reveal a plate of canned beans.*
Sunny : :O beans
Fire : Here he comes!
Sunny : *Runs forward to eat them*
Shard : READY, AIM, FIRE!"
Fire : What a coincidence! That's my name! *releases baseball bat*
Sunny : *Noms the beans*
Fire : HIT, HIT, HIT!
The baseball bat whizzes right over Sunny's ears, leaving him unscathed. It comes to a stop right above his head.
Shard : I told you!
Fire : Oh, shuddup. Lets get out of here. *jumps out of tree and runs*
Shard : Oh, shuddup. *follows*
-Written by Poison
P.S. I don't write spoofs often, I'm sorry if it's bad >_<
YOU ARE READING
100 Ways To Kill The Alpha
HumorWant to dominate your pack? Or want any tips on killing your alpha? Follow Fire and his journey of trying to kill the alpha! Although he may not succeed that doesn't stop him from trying.
