Shadows heart (Sebastian x reader) book 1

Chapter 18

Sebastian's P.O.V

It was the day after I killed Janiman and I was once again by my masters side. Even though my normal routine was back I had completely changed. I no longer spoke and my eyes were always distant, the world just seemed so bland and colourless to me now. (Y/N) was gone, I was sure of it since Janiman was dead and I couldn't check on them because of Ciel's order. I wasn't allowed to go near her unless Ciel was around, but I remembered the time it was ignored since he ordered me to help Dean find Janiman. It no longer mattered anymore, it's all over and (Y/N) is gone. I wouldn't even be able to visit her grave, if there was one.

"Sebastian!" Ciel suddenly shouted and I emotionlessly looked in his direction. He was sitting down at his desk with one leg crossed over the other, obnoxiously looking at me with a disapproving gaze. I held back a retort and continued to be silent, I couldn't find the voice to even hum a response. "It's that woman isn't it?" I felt something inside of me cave in and anger bubbled up inside of me at the way he spat out the words 'that woman''. My eyes trailed off and towards the window, I refused to even look at him. "Stop being so...so silent already! Sebastian are you even listening to me?" I finally controlled the growing anger inside of me and found the strength to look down at him again. "I should never of agreed to working with the queen's shadow, all of this needless drama would never of happened."

"CIELLLL!!!" Suddenly a squeaky voice screamed out my masters name, but before the young girl had practically ripped the doors off its hinges we both knew who it already was. Elizabeth stormed into the room and slammed her hands onto the desk in front of Ciel, she was trying to be scary but in all honesty she looked like a child who was refused sweets. "My friend has told me something and it has made me rather upset!"

"And what did your friend say Elizabeth?" Ciel sighed and placed his chin on his hand.

"You are stopping her and the man she loves from seeking each other!" She crossed her arms and pouted slightly. For the first time I showed a little bit of emotion and raised an eyebrow. "But she asked me to pass on a message to Sebastian." Both me and Ciel widened out eyes and she gave a small envelope addressed to me. I looked up at my master expectantly and he waved his hand for me to go. Without any hesitation I left the room and sat down in the manor gardens, I carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter inside.

To my dearest Sebastian,

I know about Ciel's order, Dean has so kindly told me about it. So if everything you said was true, that you love me, then I can already imagine the way you have been feeling. Thinking that I'm dead and that you would never see me again, but I'm alive and so is the love I feel for you.

There is one more thing that must be brought to light, Soma had given me four months and then I'll be shipped off to India to marry him. Even though It isn't what I want, I must follow the queen's orders and now that Janiman is dead I have no other reason to be here. What I'm trying to say is that I am leaving today and  I just wanted to say I love you one last time, even though it is said through ink.

You know who it is

I crushed the letter in my hand and didn't know how to react. Should I be happy that she is alive or sad that she will never be mine? I suddenly felt a small hand on my shoulder and I looked round to see Ciel staring at me with his one eye. "Go to her Sebastian or forever live your immortal life in regret."

"But what about the queen's order for the engagement?"

"Don't worry I'll convince her to send one of her Royal diplomats in place...now go Sebastian and that's an order."

(Y/n)'s P.O.V

Standing on the docks of the harbour, I stared out at the large open sea. Watching its murky water roll over and over again. Agni was sorting out the travel papers with the captain of the ship we were to board and soma was waiting with me. His hand edged closer to mine as his fingers twitched nervously, I glanced down at his moving hand and realised he was trying to hold my hand. Coughing, I made up an excuse to snatch my hand away and covered my mouth. Soma patted my back with a smile but I didn't look him in the eye, I just couldn't. How sad is that? He was my soon to be husband and I couldn't even brave a glance at his over joyed eyes. Agni swaggered up to us and gestured over to the ship with his bandaged hand, "they're ready to depart."

"Ready (y/n)?" Soma grabbed my hand even though I tried hiding it within the skirt of my (f/c) dress. I gave him a small nod and we walked up the ramp to the ship. Stopping at the very top, I glanced back at the dreary streets of London. At first I was but a girl, solving crimes and corruption behind the safety of her manors walls, but now I am a woman who will always stand tall. I smiled at the view realising that without London I would of still been that girl, I wouldn't of known that it was Janiman who killed my family. Soma tugged at my hand slightly and I turned my gaze to the prince, maybe over time I could learn to love him? As soon as I took a step onto the ship there was a slight disturbance in the crowd of people who were going on with their daily lives. The ships captain warned the world that the ship was about to depart and I stared curiously at the crowed. Men and women were being pushed to the side and then a raven haired male had burst out of the crowd.

"(Y/N)!!" He shouted and my eyes lit up when I realised it was Sebastian. "(Y/N) please come back! Damn it your the only woman I will ever love!" I felt something inside me being tugged and I noticed that his figure was getting smaller, the ship was moving. I looked back at soma and saw him sadly smiling at me.

"You heard him (Y/N), go back to him." Soma sounded sad and I hugged him as tightly as I could. Placing the engagement ring in his hand I ran to the side of the ship, ripped the skirt of my dress to make things easier and jumped over board. Even though my life wasn't in danger I was swimming as fast as I could and saw that Sebastian was doing the same. We met halfway and before I could speak he pushed his soft lips onto mine. I kissed back and realised how much I had been craving his touch, his smell, his taste. I smiled into the kiss and felt hot tears run down my face, I was so happy. We pulled apart, needing oxygen and Sebastian was smiling broadly at me.

"You can't believe how long I have wanted to do that." He chuckled and I did the same. "I love you (y/n) and I will never leave you again."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

???'s P.O.V

she still doesn't know, even though she survived things a human never could she still believes the whole charade. Just you wait (Y/n), you will soon know the truth.