Princess Rachel Alsina: Thursday 13th September:
"Right, so what I want for you to do is to make a list of all the people you wronged--"
"You mean write a novel?" I asked sarcastically and she sighed with a chuckle. I was currently at one of my psychotherapy sessions with my psychologist; Willow Fernandez. I've been seeing her for a few sessions now and she basically knows me inside and out.
"Alright, let me rephrase that. A list of family and friends that you want to give a personal message to. You won't have to actually give them the letters if you don't want to; but it is something that I advise for you Princess." She said, handing me a pen and paper.
"And next to whoever's name you're writing, I also want you to write the main thing that you want to change between you bad them or the main thing that you want to apologize about." She said and I got to writing.
I didn't write what I needed to apologize for because I knew damn well how I wronged every person on my list.
I gave her my list and she nodded. I'd explained everything that I'd done in the past, right from the beginning, so she's definitely familiar with most of the people.
"You're not putting Michelle on that list?" She asked and I retrieved the paper in order to add her name before giving her back the list.
"Alright, and who's Jennifer? Is that a school friend?" She asked.
"No... She's the triplets mom..." I said.
"The one who passed away?" She asked and I frowned as I nodded.
"Why do you feel the need to apologize to her, and why is she underlined?" She asked.
"Erm, I don't think I want to share that story to you. But I will be coming clean to my family about it." I said and she nodded in understanding.
She reached down and searched in her filing cabinet. Taking out exactly 12 sheets of lined paper and 12 envelopes.
"Would you like to start your letters here or at home?" She asked.
"I'll start here." I said, picking up my pen and one of the sheets.
"Remember, this is your chance to come clean about things, apologise and ask for forgiveness from your loved ones right. So do be considerate with your wording." She said and I nodded and decided to start on the letter which I thought was less deep to most deep.
As I begun my first letter, my mind raced as did my pen on my paper.
From my first session, Willow allowed me to understand myself and how I'd come out to be the person that I was. I also concluded that being mistreated and unloved for 3 whole years, changed me a lot and has me hating myself for putting myself in that position.
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