Tattooed Tears (A Jack Gilinsky Fanfiction) ❤︎

26

*Jack's POV*

"Still feeling sick?" Johnson asked me once he was back from school. I shrugged.

"Meh," I mumbled. He plopped down on his bed and took out his homework.

"What hurts?" He looked at me suspiciously.

I stumbled over my words. My heart.

"Um...my ears and throat." I faked a cough and he shook his head.

"Then maybe you should go to the doctor?" Johnson looked me dead in the eye. I clammed up.

"Nah, no big deal, I'm good."

"You're not sick." He pointed out the obvious and I put on a 'what are you talking about' look.

"I'm not a dumbass, Jack. I know something happened."

"What do you mean?"

"Something happened and you're upset. You're not sick."

"I really don't know what you're talking about." I stuttered. I feel like I'm being interrogated by the FBI.

"Yes, you do."

"No."

"Danielle asked where you were." He said and I almost choked on my air.

"She did?"

"Yeah. And after I told her you were sick, she told us she had a paper to re-write and left the table, looking like she was going to cry." He eyed me closely waiting for my answer. My heart raced up.

"Maybe she did have a paper to write."

"There is no paper Jack."

"I told her that I love her."

"That's great! What's the problem then?" He asked me and I laid back down on my pillow.

"She ran out."

"Ran out of what?"

"She was scared and just....ran out." I took a shaky breath.

"Why should she be scared?" He questioned.

"I don't think she thinks of me in that way." It hurt to say.

"Jack, listen to yourself. No offense, but you're a dumbass. She looks at you like you are her sunshine. She laughs at everything you say. She cares about you. She went home with you. I can't tell you right away myself that she loves you, but she definitely feels something towards you."

"I don't know what to do now. I can't just act like nothing ever happened and go back to being her friend. I can't even look at her," I closed my eyes and imagined her face, which I hadn't seen in what feels like forever.

"You go to her. You ask her why she doesn't feel the same way. You get it out of her, Jack."

"I can't just force her to tell me."

"Yes, you can. And you will. You tell her that you don't regret anything you said and that you demand to know why she doesn't feel the same way."

"Johnson, I'm not forcing anything out of her."

"Then do it the gentleman way and tell her that you'll give her time."

I thought about that for a minute.

"You're right," I told him and he smiled. He loves being told he's right.

"I always am."

----

I opened my eyes and looked at my phone. It's only 6 o'clock, really? I just want this day to be over. I fell asleep thinking about what Johnson said.

I stood up and walked to my mirror. I looked at myself. I was a mess.

My bare chest was cold in the room. Maybe I really am getting sick.

My hair was sticking up all over the place and my eyes were tired. God, I hope no one ever sees me like this.

Knock knock knock.

I spoke too soon. I walked over to the door, thinking maybe it was just Johnson or Skate coming back from dinner.

But it wasn't them.

"Hey, Jack." It was Danielle. She looked equally messy as I do. She was wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. Her hair was a curly mess and she wasn't wearing any makeup.

"Hi, Dani." I couldn't smile.

She looked down and thought for a second.

I opened my door and let her in. I went over to my dresser and grabbed a shirt, putting it on.

"What are you doing here?" I asked calmly but my heart was racing inside me.

"I, um." She looked back down. She didn't speak so I did first.

"Are you still mad at me?" I blurted out. I didn't mean to say it but sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own.

She looked up at me and fiddled with her hands.

"What? No, I'm not mad at you."

"Are you sure?" I asked her. I guess 'mad' was the wrong word but whatever.

"I was never mad at you." She sat down in the same chair that I sat in when I sang to her. I sat on my bed across from her.

"What were you?" I questioned. I thought about what Johnson said. Maybe I should try to get her to tell. I just don't want to be that guy who needs to know every single thing in a girls life.

"Hurt." Her voice was soft and quiet.

"I know you were." I didn't look at her. I saw her head fly up slowly.

"How do you know?" She sounded worried.

"Because I know what you're scared of," I said and fumbled with my own hands.

"I'm not scared of anything," She shook her head, nervously.

"You scared of being in love." I let it out and I saw her tense up. Correct.

"Why would you say that?"

"You keep trying to stay away from me, emotionally."

"You don't understand Jack." She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, restlessly.

"Then make me understand, Dani. I don't understand and I will never until you tell me." I leaned forward getting closer to her.

"My heart is fragile. It breaks easily."

"I won't break it. I promise you, Dani. You know me," I meant it too.

"That's why my heart is so fragile." I noticed a tear slide down her face. I wanted to wipe it away and kiss her forehead, but this is definitely not the time to do that.

"Because I said I promise?"

"No. Because you said you won't break it." She looked up at me and I noticed that her eyes were full of tears.

"Please, Dani. You mean so much to me. Why won't you trust me?" I got closer. I was only a few inches away from her now.

"I've learned to never let anyone hold my heart...because they drop it. They drop it and it breaks to pieces. It doesn't work anymore. There's no use, I'm already so broken."

I wanted to gasp or gape or something when I heard that. So I was right, something did happen to her to make her not love again.

"Then let me fix you." I looked into her teary eyes.

"You can't. Damage is already done." She wiped away her tears.

"Danielle. Who broke you so badly?" I asked her and she looked up at me.

And at that moment, I saw the life leave her beautiful brown eyes, even if she was not dead.