Battle Scars - Lams

17; Business as usual

"Hamilton I don't give a rats ass if you're mad at me but let me in. We have something to discuss!"

Currently, Laurens was at Hamilton's door, clenching his fist. God knows what the time was, but it was urgent.

Hamilton slowly walked to the door. As he opened it he was greeted by a flustered(?) John Laurens.

"Uh, come in."

"Yeah, I will."

Laurens barged inside and sat on Lafayettes bed, who never really seemed to be at the dorm anymore, from what he could tell. He had probably been with Hercules, of course.

"What do you want, John."

"Alexander fucking Hamilton, I have some amazing news for you."

"What?" He folded his arms.

"We used to be friends. Like, when we were kids."

"I know."

Laurens stared blankly at Hamilton, not sure what to feel at that exact moment in time.

"You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Hamilton, you didn't tell me something that's extremely important. What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!"

"Hamilton, we knew each other as kids, and you didn't tell me for who knows why! That's really messed up!"

"And whys it such a big deal to you."

"Because it makes me feel like I can't trust you, which I probably can't! If I'd have known sooner I would've told you! You wouldn't do the same for me though!"

"Look, I'm sorry!"

"No, you know what? Sorry doesn't cut it. I've had a rough couple of weeks because of you and I'm not going to deal with your shit and not tell you how I feel."

"Fine. How do you feel."

"For starters, I feel like absolute shit. I feel used and not needed. I feel like a toy because everyone messes with my emotions and don't even care! I feel replaceable, reusable. I feel like I don't deserve anything, anyone. I feel confused and scared to death. I feel like I'm not good enough ever, and like I can't do anything right. I feel like no one is capable of loving me because I'm too much of a shit head. I feel like everyone leaves me behind because I'm not important. I feel like I don't matter..."

At that stage Laurens was nearly breaking down into tears. He hadn't realised how upset he felt about everything until now. It was good to let it out, to let someone know he needed some help.

Hamilton panicked, though. He was never good with these types of situations. So he did what most did and just hugged Laurens.

And that's just what John needed. A hug. Someone to be there for him, to just be able to comfort him, and listen to him.

He clutched onto Hamilton's body, to scared to let go. Small sobs came out of him, and his body shook ever so slightly.

Hamilton rubbed Johns back soothingly, a pit of guilt in his stomach.

"I'm sorry I made you feel all of this."

His voice was a dull whisper, like the wind at night. You can barely hear it, but it's there."

"No, it's not just you!" Laurens choked out, clutching Hamilton tighter, "it's everyone! It's even me! Please it's not just you."

"Okay, but I'm sorry, for being a shitty friend. I don't deserve you at all."

"That's not true. I don't deserve you."

Hamilton chuckled softly, and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Hamilton, I just, I want-no, I need to know that someone's there for me. I don't want to be alone. I need someone to help me."

"It's okay, I'm here for you. I'm not going to leave, I promise. You're my friend and I care about you so much."

Laurens smiled slightly and calmed down. He had stopped crying slightly, and his body wasn't shaking. He was okay. He was safe.

He took a deep breath and sighed as he moved away from Hamilton.

"I'm sorry all we've been doing is fighting. I just want everything to be okay."

"It is. I've recognised my mistakes and what I've done and, I'll try and change."

"No! You don't have to change! Hamilton, stay exactly the same. You're perfect the way you are. Don't change because of me."

"But I want to change. I want to change for the better. Laurens, I promise I'll be a better friend. We won't have to fight."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

Yikes another update
When this story finishes I really wanna make another Lams story yikes

Also this is really sloppy I'm tired and lazy

Have some sad Lams

ALSO WOAH THANKS FOR 6K READS I??? WOAH

I think I'm gonna edit the story a bit tonight though!!

Lmao xoxo ily