Only Saving Grace I Ever Had (Kellic)

Chapter Eleven

*Flashback*
It's been a month since Jonny's party.

Jonny still looks at me nervously, and Craig still looks at me in a curious way.

They know I won't tell anyone.
I smile at Jonny to assure him but he never stops looking at me like something is terribly wrong.

I shouldn't have ran. I should've stayed and explained that I don't mind that they like each other.

At first it felt kinda funny, but what's really the difference?
I don't see why they can't like each other.

Maybe if I was Jonny I would like Craig too.

I hated when the thought came to my head, but I'm actually jealous.
Out of the years of friendship with Craig, he never liked me like that.

I don't want to be gay anyways, it's just a confusing thought.

Maybe it's new to Craig too?

Craig and Jonny spend lunch together, and recess.
I wonder what they'll do when we stop having recess next year.

I miss Craig.
I just want my best friend back, it gets harder every time I'm alone.

At lunch last week I saw Craig's hand on Jonny's under the table.

Maybe I should make sure Jonny knows I won't tell anyone, I don't want him to be weird about me.

The bell rang and when it did, I caught up to Jonny. He looked at me for a second before looking down.
"Hey" I started "you know I won't tell anyone.. there's nothing wrong with liking him" I said, trying my best to assure him.

He looked at me with a gentle look.
"I didn't want to kiss him" he stated, nervously.
Are you sure?
Is he just saying that to cover it up?

"What?" I asked, trying to understand.

"I liked him" he said "I like liked Craig, but I didn't want to kiss him. Not yet"

I don't completely understand, usually people are dying to get a kiss.
I nodded anyways and smiled at him.

"Do you want to come over this weekend?"
*End of Flashback*
(Kellins POV)

I motioned for Craig to sit down.
Is he wanting to discuss Vic, or himself?

What if he could see right through me and right to the fact that I am helplessly attracted to Vic?

What if Craig is Vic's boyfriend? What if Craig is here to threaten me?

I sat down, trying not to give away the fact that I'm a little intimidated by the man across from me.

"Vic has been my best friend since we were born, literally, our moms were best friends too" he said, matter of factly.
"I don't think therapy will help him" he said, getting to the point.

"Why not?" I asked, knowing that therapy can and will help anyone who is willing to work with the therapist to get to the source of the issue and fix it.

"Vic has always been like this" he started "he's always scared of new people, he's always panicked around them and he's always nervous in crowds. He's always had panic attacks, it's just him" he tried to explain.
"Vic isn't going to change because this is the way he's meant to be, he's not depressed or suicidal or anything, he just gets nervous because his personality is that way"

I was in disbelief.
Maybe he really is clueless?
Or protecting himself.

I can't share any information about Vic to him, I can't explain that I almost have enough information to diagnose Vic with PTSD.