Only Saving Grace I Ever Had (Kellic)

Chapter Twenty Six

*Flashback*
"Are you going to that party tonight?" Josh said as he plopped on his bed.

I shook my head "I don't think so" I said quickly.

"Craig is going" Josh said, raising his eyebrows.

"That doesn't change my mind" I laughed, watching him pout.

"Don't you think he's kinda cute, though?" Josh said, blushing a little.
Over the past few weeks, I've discovered that Josh is bisexual. I've always been able to tell that he had a thing for Craig though, and I'm doing my best to prevent him from getting hurt.

"Please don't get involved with him" I said finally, after weeks of hinting.

Josh looked confused, but suddenly struck with realization.
"Oh my god, you're fucking, aren't you?" Josh said with a smile and a surprised expression.
"I've always wondered why he never shuts up about you and seems attached to you" Josh added.
I was speechless.
What do I say?
"Oh! Is it like a friends with benefits thing but he likes you more than a friend?" Josh rushed out.
"Oh! It's like a movie" he said, I'm surprised he can even breathe with how fast he's talking.

"We are not fucking" I said sternly, almost too seriously.

Josh remained quiet.
I felt like crying.
Why do I always do this?

"Then why do you want me to stay away from him?" Josh said after awhile.

I looked at him and I could tell that I had tears in my eyes that were probably just confusing him more.
"He's a really bad guy. Not the kind of bad that gets better, not the kind of bad that you're able to recover from, either" I said, trying to speak without crying.
"Really really bad"

Josh seemed nervous now, confused, lost. Before he even had the chance to say anything, Craig walked in.

Speak of the devil.

Craig had a smile plastered on his face as he greeted Josh and I.
"You ready to party?" He asked, mainly to Josh who just looked at me.
"Vic, you've got to come" Craig said, meeting eyes with me.

I shook my head, trying not to seem too frantic. He knew I would say no.

"Please" Craig said, "me and Josh will be there"
I knew he would never take no for an answer.

Craig grabbed my hand and began pulling me, I tried to pull my hand away but he was strong enough to not even notice, I stopped pulling.

When we got out into the hall, Josh still seemed confused, he doesn't know what to do.
The panic shook me to the core before I was left with a strange calm feeling.

The kind of feeling where you know that you don't have a chance.
I know that by the end of the night, Craig will rape me again, just as he did three days ago, and two days before that, and six days before that.

The kind of feeling where I know that it's inevitable at this point.
How can I make it painless?
Can I give up? Stop fighting?
Will that make it hurt less?

Should I kill Myself?
Should I get as drunk as possible? Should I kill him?
Should I report it?

Would anyone believe that I am a man being raped by his best friend?
What if they think I just regret it, or I was too drunk?
Would he even really get in trouble?

Most cases that are taken to court do not result in favor of the victim.
Especially, when the victim is a man.

Should I drop out? Move to Mexico? Move to a place where Craig could never get me?