Only Saving Grace I Ever Had (Kellic)

Chapter Fourteen

*Flashback*
"How did it go?" I asked as I approached Jonny. Jonny didn't smile, he didn't look at me with much more than recognition.

"I-uh" he started "I don't want to talk about it" he said, looking down, his eyes looked almost teary.
They were red and glazed, his hair was a mess.

Did Craig leave him?

"Okay" I said gently, nodding in agreement.

***

I slowly walked to where my bike was, I always left it against a tree beside the school so I could ride home, Craig is usually already gone by the time I get out to where my bike is, but today he was standing out beside my bike.

He was waiting for me.

I was confused after what happened with Jonny earlier. He's so upset.

I made eye contact with Craig, who smiled at me.

"Hey, Vic" he said, stepping towards me as I mounted my bike.

"Hey" I said, too awkwardly.

"Do you want to ride home together? Do you remember riding together all the time?" He said with a light chuckle.

Our friendship ended before either of us were allowed to ride to and from school on our own, but every evening we rode from the time we got home to the time we went to bed.

"I could never forget" I said slowly, suddenly becoming sad at the fact that we are now strangers after we spent ten years of our life together as best friends.
"Yeah, we can ride home together"
Craig got on his bike and we both started pedaling.

"Have you seen Jonny today? I looked for him but I couldn't find him" Craig called over to me after a few minutes of riding.

"I did. What happened Friday between the two of you?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the road as I took a turn.

Craig waited for a moment to respond.
"Don't tell anyone" he called, a little behind me now. I slowed down just a little so he could keep up.

"I wouldn't" I called.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I felt my stomach drop a little. I remember after every secret, no matter how small, no matter what.
We always made promises.

Will he become my best friend again?
Will it be the same?

"We had sex" Craig called finally.

I stopped my bike so fast I fell off of it and onto the grass beside the road.

What?
They what?

Craig dropped his bike and ran over to me as fast as he could, he fell beside me.
"Man, if I knew you were going to fall, I would've waited until we were stopped" he laughed, causing me to laugh in response.

He put his hand on my elbow that was a little skinned but it was okay.

"Craig, we're fourteen" I said, confused still.

"So? We got a head start at sex" he laughed "I don't know how you feel about us being gay, if you take after your parents you probably hate us for it" he said, talking about how religious my parents were.

"I don't mind" I said gently, picking myself up.

"Do you want to go home with me? We can call your mom on the telephone to let her know.. we can watch a movie?" He asked with a light smile.

"That sounds nice"
*End of Flashback*
(Kellins POV)

I studied my notes once more, I've looked over them several times tonight.

I know that Vic read them, I know that he crossed out the names of his father and brother.
That means Craig must be hurting him.
He gave me a huge hint.

I can't do anything about it until Vic tells me though, today he made huge steps towards recovery.
He opened up, finally.
There's still a lot for him to open up about, but he finally told me how he truly felt about his anxiety and panic attacks.

Now I know that Vic wants me to know what's going on, but why can't he say it?

The same reason you never said anything.

I wish I could say that I didn't understand Vic, but I do.
Of course my boyfriend never beat me or verbally abused me, or controlled me. I would never let that happen.

But I am a first hand example to what therapy can do, and now I'm here to prove to everyone else that therapy saves lives.

I've heard too many people assume that therapy doesn't actually help, and therapists only pretend to help for the money, but that isn't true.
If I didn't make money, I couldn't help people because I would have to have another job, but I truly care about my clients.

I've heard from others that I care too much, I get too involved.
I do.

I wish I could stop, but I'm especially involved in Vic.

The most of what I can do for Vic is teach him coping methods, and suggest medications that aren't prescribed.
If he needs medications, he will have to go to a psychiatrist.

I closed my files and set it in the passenger seat of my car before unbuckling and stepping out into the cool air.

After a few minutes of walking, I came to the door of the bookstore.
Is this the one Vic works at?
I hope he isn't in today, or maybe I do? I don't want him to think I came here to see him.

I walked in, a bell ringing as the door opened.
The store was unorganized, but it was nice.
I walked through, picking up a few books to read the backs.

I need to get some books for the waiting room, preferably children's books.

I'm not a child therapist, neither is my co worker, but I work with young adults mainly, and she works with pre-teens and teens.
We've had children come in with their parents.

I don't think I could be a child therapist, but that kind of therapy is sometimes the most influential.
It was for me.

Getting help at a young age was a life changer for me, if I didn't, I don't know where I would be today or if I would be a therapist helping Vic.

Should someone who used to need therapy even be a therapist?

Maybe that's what makes me so overly involved.

I scanned the isle, picking up a few books that looked cute before checking out.

A man with a thick British accent was at the cash register, and it didn't take me a long time to notice that Vic was here too, he was towards the back, unboxing books and placing them on the cart.
He didn't notice me.

"Thank you for your purchase" the man spoke kindly as he handed me a paper bag containing the newest books for the waiting room.

"Thank you" I replied, turning to leave, glancing at Vic one last time before I left.

He's so cute.

I kept walking once I got out, I have nothing to do, maybe I can find a café or something.

I watch as a couple walks past me, happy and in love.
I would love to just have someone. It would be wonderful.
Of course, I like Vic, but I know it's useless to like him.
Maybe I should try to stop focusing on him so much.

He needs me to focus on him, he needs me to care, he needs me because I'm his therapist and I need to help him.
I just wish I could stop liking him.

I think I would do anything for him.