Cara Evelyn

Chapter-17

~Sometimes I think,
I need a spare heart to feel
all the things I feel.~
-Sanober Khan-

Every epiphany has a long journey behind it that piles up all the confusions, queries, logics, reasons, frustrations, thoughts, breaths and tears step by step. Then there comes a day when one gives up and sets fire to this huge pile in exhaustion but just when he's about to turn away, right in the middle of that trivial moment, he notices something that falters his departing steps and leaves him awe-struck like a little child witnessing a shooting star for the first time. This something is a fading ember in the ashes that results in the epiphany but unfortunately, I was still in the middle of my journey and, out into the Unknown, my epiphany was waiting patiently for me to arrive at its doorstep.

"The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive." Running a hand through my ruffled hair, I set the open book upside down on my stomach and voiced out the words into thin air.

Laying down on my bed, I reflected over the words thoughtfully. Two days ago, I had borrowed Looking for Alaska from Zayan and now all I could do was relate to Alaska in so many ways. It frightened me to know that there was an underlying resemblance and I just couldn't locate its core but I knew that this book was going to stay with me for a very long time.

Slowly, I picked up the book from my stomach and turned to my right as my gaze naturally spotted the rainbow colours hanging in the window of his room. The curtains were drawn back so I knew he was home. He always liked the curtains drawn back. I recalled the numerous times I had questioned him over the matter but his reply had always been the same.

"I don't like darkness. It has its way of creeping inside human souls and swallowing them alive. People might conflict with my thoughts but nothing in this world, Cara Evelyn, is useless. Nothing." He had this soft voice that always lured me into the web of his words and I could never stop myself from craving for more. I didn't know if people normally allowed themselves to get strongly affected by words but his words were the core of my existence. No wonder I never slept in the darkness after that.

Slowly, I dragged myself out of the bed and walked over to the window. The evening hues were about to spread themselves across the canvas of the sky and I knew, soon I'd be sneaking out in the cloak of darkness with him like every other night. Allowing my gaze to wander around, I spotted his silhouette amidst the fading sunlight. He was lying on his bed and I couldn't see his face because he had his back to me.

Silently, I sat down on the window seat and looked out towards the horizon. The glorious sunset had finally arrived and a soft memory dissolved its colours in the rainbow liquid splashing in my mind.

It was a pleasant evening and I was out on the bench near the tallest tree of the town. There were a few kids running around the park but my eyes were settled on the horizon where the drowning sunset was graced with soft hues of orange and red shades. Lost in the fascination of this stunning sight, I was slightly startled as he took a seat beside me.

"What do you love the most about sunsets?" He had whispered and I had turned around to look inside the sunlit hazel crystals as they captivated my sanity. Reminding myself to breathe, I smiled at him and averted my gaze back to the setting sun.

"They let the Sun embrace the Earth." I knew I was lost in a trance but I didn't want to come out of it.

"But you forget, it's the Sun. Not the air. You'll fall in love with the sea, Cara Evelyn, once you see it." He tilted his head to the side and bit his lip as his heavenly eyes spanned the horizon. Moments like these always dipped me in a confusing conflict for I couldn't recall meeting anyone as graceful as Zayan Eilqar whose slightest of movements felt as easy as breathing.