Cali Bound//Our2ndLife

♡Chapter 28♡

I anxiously sat in the waiting room in this uncomfortable chair. I was biting at my nails like a maniac, a bad habit I had when I was nervous. Everyone was currently in the waiting room, and Connor's parents were flying out as we speak. I just couldn't believe it though. 

I didn't even know Connor was depressed, let alone suicidal. I cried when I watched the video, more than cried actually, I bawled my eyes out. I couldn't believe Connor felt so alone that he wanted to end his own life. I'd love to live a life like Connor's, but apparently there is something in his life that isn't good, no one knows though. Nobody but him, and I mean nobody.

I felt bad though, beyond bad. The rude things I've ever said to him, which was only that one day, but you know what I mean. The way I led him on with the making out. I just felt so much regret even though I didn't need to. I mean, I didn't do anything wrong, but I felt like I could've been there for him more. 

I'm just glad I'm not Morgan or Sam. Those two must be feeling really guilty and regretful right now. I mean, I could only imagine. I already felt enough myself, and with what those two went through, whatever it was, with Connor. I couldn't imagine the regret. The regret of saying certain things to him that were rude. Not being there when they should've. Anything. 

I looked up to see Morgan pacing around the room like a maniac, tear stained face. 

"I knew he was depressed and I left him. I told him the meanest things guys. We all know that I'm why he's in here." She said, her voice full of guilt. 

"Morgan, you need to stop." Kian said irritated. She really did though, I mean I know we're all feeling guilty and everything, but she hasn't stopped since we got here. It's driving me crazy. 

"How can I?" She said. "Connor almost killed himself because of some random reason he wouldn't tell anyone! I knew he was depressed, I was the only one too. I could've been there for him and helped him but I didn't. I left him." She said loudly. 

"Morgan, quiet down." I told her and she looked over at me before huffing loudly and rolling her eyes. 

"Babe, let's go get lunch and calm down a bit." Ricky said calmly wrapping his arm around her. She let out a big sigh before slightly nodding. 

"Alright." She agreed making us all sigh in relief. The two left immediately and left all 5 of us in the waiting room. 

"I do wonder why he'd do this though, he always seemed so happy." Jc said. 

"You know what they say, the happiest people are sometimes the saddest." I told him. 

"So then who else here is depressed and won't tell anyone?" Kian said. Kian was kind of irritable right now, I think it was partly because Morgan wouldn't shut up, but another was that Kian was pretty close to Connor as well. 

"Kian, it's just sometimes. Not every single happy person is depressed." I pointed out. 

"Still, I don't want to almost lose another one of my friends." He said. None of us spoke. I knew Sam got upset sometimes, I got upset sometimes, but other than that I don't know if anyone else is. 

"Bro, you need to chill out. You're worrying about way too much." Sam told him. Kian sighed loudly before running a hand through his hair. 

"I know, you're right. I just, I have anxiety and this is where it comes in." He said. 

"Trust me Kian, I have it too." I said. "You just need to not let your mind get to you." He nodded and after that we all sat in silence. I don't really talk to Sam because of the obvious, but I think it was just silent because it was already loud enough in all our heads.